President Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan admits he gets "bags full of cash" from Iran and America, saying it's just a "good neighbor" arrangement. What? In that case, my neighbors fucking suck!

A 7.5 magnitude earthquake rocks the Indonesian coast.

Iran shuts down 12 university programs that don't jibe with Islamic teachings—like psychology, political science, and of course, womens' studies and human rights.

NPR boss Vivian Schiller apologizes to employees for the way she fired Juan Williams—who shot his mouth off on the Bill O'Reilly Show—but not for why she did it.

A Rhode Island Democratic gubernatorial hopeful tells Obama he can take his non-endorsement and "shove it"! (And that goes double for his future non-job as governor!)

Say goodbye
to free online TV (at least from the major networks). Somebody should tell them that other than Glee, we don't kind of don't give a shit about the major networks.

"Hiccup Girl"—who was once famous for an incurable case of hiccups—is now famous for murdering someone during a bank robbery. Sooo… looks like she may need a new nickname.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Breezy, showery with occasional sunbreaks from now until June 27, 2011.

And finally, just because you probably should know that it exists, here is Kanye West's new 35-fucking-minute-long "art" video for "Runaway." (Yeah, I'm not going to watch it either—because 35 minutes on the internet is like 50 million decades in dog years.)