Surprise Party in Afghanistan! Obama took a secret night flight to Afghanistan to visit with its president. No cake or balloons. :(

More Tax Cuts! When he's not sneaking off to Afghanistan, the president is meeting with GOP leaders to talk tax cuts. Bleck.

Economy: Still Shitty. The unemployment rate rose nationally to 9.8 percent. They're gaining on Oregon!

WikiLeaks is Homeless: US servers boots WikiLeaks offline. Though they're now running the site through Swiss servers, the connection remains spotty while reporters dig through cables detailing massive Afghan corruption.

Annnnd More WikiLeaks: On the run from every authority in the universe, WikiLeaks' founder still had time for this interesting Q&A. Best quote, "Many weirdos email us about UFOs or how they discovered that they were the anti-Christ whilst talking with their ex-wife at a garden party over a pot-plant."

Pot Can Make You Sick: Science explores how cannabis "dampens" your immune system.

Another Death in Paradise: A man shoots at police in Disney's creepy town Celebration, FL, then turns the gun on himself just days after the city's first murder.

Uh... A Sexy Film About the Bosnian War? Angelina Jolie is directing her very first movie, set during the Bosnian civil war. Bosnians are displeased.

Puppy Mill Crackdown! Nine puppies "living in squalor" were liberated from a SE Portland home.

Streetcar to Lake O! Who wants a $450 million streetcar to Lake Oswego? Going once, going twice....

Down Syndrome Protest at Southern Oregon University: Woman with Down Syndrome was kicked out of an art class, sparking student protest.

Boardman Will Close by 2020: The state lets PGE run its dirty coal-fired plant for another decade, but then it must close.