Almost over... This is your last chance to blaze into the Mercury Charity Auction and start some shit. Who wouldn't want 12 totally bad-ass wigs for only a dollar more than its current high bid of $51? Or how about VIP passes to SXSW for only half of their market value? C'mon, throw your paycheck around a bit.

Who played who? Did infamous Afghan drug lord Hajji Juma Khan play the CIA to grow his business, or did the CIA bait Juma Khan with a false sense of value and security? Better question: Why was this asshole on government payroll while this kid went immediately to jail?

This is sad: Mark Madoff, the eldest son of disgraced financier Bernard Madoff, killed himself last night, according to his lawyer. He hanged himself from a ceiling pipe with a dog leash, while his wife was at Disney World and his 2-year-old son slept nearby.

The gas tax is climbing! Yes, yes it is—in Oregon, by a whole six cents.

More depressing Afghan news: Violence in the south is flaring, after a period of relative calm following a major influx of American troops. Maj. Gen. Richard Mills said that the area in question is a "key crossroads, the last place where the insurgent can grow, harvest and process poppy", but can anyone take Gen. Mills seriously?

Good news! A local credit union is making good on its promise to give homes to veterans. Army Specialist PC Kevin Pannell of Sandy is the first recipient, who will receive keys to his new digs on Saturday afternoon.

Wet, and not in a good way: The weather Saturday is likely to be worse than the weather Thursday, with record-breaking rainfall and the potential to surpass 1.5 inches of precipitation.