After successfully holing himself up in his home for a week (while under near constant barrage), the former Ivory Coast strongman Laurent Gbagbo has finally been captured.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? Yet another earthquake aftershock (this time a 6.6.) rocks Japan, putting the already damaged Fukushima nuclear reactor in further danger. As the Full House gang would say, "Cut... it... OUT."
The controversial Burqa ban goes into effect today in France—so maybe now they can lift the deodorant ban? BURN! Ssssssssssssssss.
An Egyptian blogger accused of insulting the military is sentenced to three years in prison. WHAT?? If the dude had insulted Justin Bieber, that would've been one thing!
Mexican authorities say they may have found the kidnapped bus passengers they've been looking for—in unmarked mass graves just south of the Texas border.
New York: If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere! Therefore, following his disaster of a live show in NYC Friday night, Charlie Sheen can't make it anywhere.
Drinkin' Good in the Neighborhood! A 15-month-old baby is sent to the hospital after an Applebees accidentally serves the tot an alcoholic beverage.
Locally, THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO MADE THE MERCURY CHARITY YARD SALE A BLAZING SUCCESS! Hundreds visited our office yesterday to buy a cornucopia of weird crap, and helped us raise a whopping $1,250 for the support of animals in Japan displaced by the earthquake/tsunami. Thanks again!
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Very scattered showers and cooler today, but nice and dry tomorrow. (Rain returns on Wednesday. BOOOOO!!)
And finally, actress Vanessa Hudgins—she was in High School Musical, okay??—recently gave People magazine the following quote: “I know what the worst invention ever is. The internet. I think it's ruining everyone, and it just makes everybody way too accessible it just takes away the glamor and mystery from our business.” Hmmm... LET'S TAKE A POLL!