Tornadoes smashed through Alabama and five other Southern states, leaving as many as 230 people dead or missing in what appears to be a record-breaking eruption of terror from the clouds. Tuscaloosa got some of the worst of it. Watch and recoil.

As Syria's brutish crackdown on dissent continues, hundreds of members of the country's monolithic ruling party have resigned, even though the UN can't bring itself to issue a scolding. The city of Dar'aa, seed of the protests, has become a walled-off pariah targeted mercilessly by security forces and soldiers.

Meanwhile, in Libya, the "strategic" city of Misrata, subject of a see-saw battle between Moammar Qaddafi's forces and rebels is hardly a city anymore. And "collateral damage" from NATO air strikes is adding up: This time, 11 civilians, witnesses say.

Jimmy Carter is all trademark smiles after a trip back from North Korea, where what he heard from Kim Jong Il—"we want to make nice with America and maybe give up our nukes" (I'm paraphrasing, duh!)—has a snowball's chance in hell of actually happening.

Coming soon to a Shenzhen suicide-factory: iDepends. China's population is getting OLD, and FAST. And you know how they have that "one-child" policy? That means not having a more successful and responsible sibling to fob your sickly parents onto.

The economy's growth is slowing. Unlike the recent surge in gas and food prices, or inflation.

Not that anyone thought it would, but the crazy train over President Obama's past ain't stopping for nothing.

The Marine Corps is being trained on how to accept gay recruits."If a Marine spots two men in his battalion kissing off-duty at a shopping mall, he should react as if he were seeing a man and woman."

What happens when you move in with a woman, and a week later, she starts to smell?

Downtown Portland. Bulls-eye.

Um, so... Did you watch your TV last night? You might have seen this. For now, you might say I'm top dog. But don't worry, Blogtowners, I'll be right back to vaguely disappointing you in no time!

The good news is the Blazers game comes on after my next appearance. So you won't feel guilty missing the start of Game 6, or any of Ezra's must-read live blogging, right here on this site!!!!!