GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Oh! The towering feeling! Just to know—somehow you are near! LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Get ready for a "huge financial calamity" if President Obama and the Republicans (mostly the Republicans) can't get their heads around this debt ceiling thing.
The former editor of News of the World agrees to testify before parliament on the hacking scandal—but guess who won't?
A new report slams the Catholic Church for refusing to take stronger steps to stop the pedophilic shenanigans of their clergy.
Catherine Becker—the gal who drugged her hubby, lopped off his penis and tossed it in the garbage disposal—is being charged with torture and aggravated mayhem. (Sounds about right.)
A Southern California man who was apparently dicking around near a Hawaii geyser dies in a blowhole.
After Mila Kunis accepted a date with a Marine, another Marine decided to try her luck... with Justin Timberlake. (THIS IS WHY YOU CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING NICE.)
The U.S. Women's soccer team puts a foot in the stinky ass of the French, and now faces Japan in the World Cup Finals.
Glee shocker! Cast members Lea Michele, Cory Monteith and Chris Colfer will not return after this coming season because apparently they're going to graduate or something. OH, NOW THEY'RE GOING FOR REALITY?
For those who care about TV other than Glee, here are this year's Emmy nominations.
In local celebrity news: Our only local celebrity Daniel Baldwin files for a restraining order against his wife. (Dear Portland, we really need better local celebrities.)
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Still a bit cloudy, but no showers for the next few days with highs in the low-to-mid 70s.
And finally, Japanese scientists develop a "singing robot mouth" that is simply terrifying—until you get to the :27 second mark, at which point it becomes even more terrifying... as well as making you feel funny. In the pants. Down there. STOP IT ALREADY, JAPANESE SCIENTISTS!!