"Random Shelling": As the Syrian government continues to attack its own people, residents say they're bracing for all out war.

Rotten Apple: The Chinese factories that make Apply products are going to get outside inspections.

Dead Heat: Mittens and Santorum are tied in polls. Oh goody.

How Much Does a Penny Cost? Sadly, 2.4 cents.

Privatize Prisons? A Wall Street tycoon is calling for selling off our prisons, since they're so expensive.

Texas Running Low on Death Drugs: The Lone Star State is in a tizzy because they only have enough lethal injection drugs left for six people.

Just Say No to Marriage: Kids these days are getting married later, apparently because they want to actually think marriage through or some shit.

Equal Love: Dozens of marriage equality activists across the country are using Valentine's Day as a chance to apply for marriage licenses they know will be rejected.

Okay, I'll Bite: It's an award show for dogs in movies! Eeee!

Your Valentine's Day Present: Shakira was attacked by a sea lion.