GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! He was obviously hooking up bass I assumed, and then he turned the little button and the car went boom. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Ambassador Christopher Stevens has been killed along with three others in a brutal, rocket-firing mob attack on the American consulate in Libya. They were reportedly taking revenge because of a short American-made film that depicts the prophet Mohammad as a pedophile dork.

While President Obama had strong words for those who launched the Libyan attacks, shockingly, Mittens Romney finds fault in the way Obama is handling it. ("Ah, there's the desperately needed toe-hold that will arrest my downward fall!")

Also shockingly, the person who made the racist, inflammatory film is in hiding for his life.

In more terrible news, at least 289 people are dead in a Pakistani garment factory fire.

Though the economy is slowly struggling back, the middle-class is yet to see it, with U.S. incomes dropping 1.5 percent last year.

However, the number of poor people in America is at least not rising? That's good?

While today's news might tarnish the lastest poll, Obama's approval ratings are up to 51 percent.

Today in Sarah Palin: SHUT UP, SARAH PALIN.

Harvard is experiencing an epic academic cheating scandal, that includes some of their basketball team's top players.

A former UBS banker blows the whistle on his company's corrupt practices of illegally helping the wealthy... and gets a $104 million reward for his help. UMMM... WHERE DO I SIGN UP. GIVE ME THAT WHISTLE!!!

Though we've already told you what you can expect from today's iPhone 5 event—here's another guess. Stay tuned for Alex Falcone's (probably hilarious) recap later on today!

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: CHRIST, it was cool and windy this morning! But expect sunny days ahead with a high of 82 today and 88 tomorrow!

And finally, since we obviously need to turn this day around, how about an awesome cat supercut? Thank you, and MEOW!