Willard Romney's increasingly befuddled operators have widely released a memo praising Barack Obama's debating prowess, tamping down expectations about their ability to make the simulacrum perform adequately in the human dialogue contest.

Oh, and by the way... Have you seen the polls lately? Even Fox viewers are begrudgingly calling it for Obama. Barring a colossal surprise, it's looking worse and worse for Willard—especially thanks to his inane "47 percent" comments.

French Socialists show the rest of the world how it's done. A "combat budget" will raise the tax rate on euro-millionaires to 75 percent, while avoiding any increase for 90 percent of non-wealthy French-talkers.

The crude red line drawn on a clip art bomb by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu notwithstanding, there are clear signs the Israeli government isn't planning to immediately blindside the United States with a sudden strike against Iran's nuclear-fuel facilities. Any blindsiding will probably happen after the election.

Investigating the terror attack at a US diplomatic compound in Benghazi was made painfully more complicated after security forces were evacuated—forcing the FBI to do its job 400 miles away, in Tripoli.

A laid-off employee barged into a Minneapolis sign-making outfit and gunned down the owner and three more people, also injuring four, before killing himself.

Bone-dry Mars used to have at least one hip-deep river. In the olden days.

The Department of Veterans Affairs—after a decade with two Middle Eastern wars and a crush of ailments from graying Vietnam service members—has become utterly incapable of keeping up with the never-ending demand for care and aid. How big's that Pentagon budget, again?

A gay couple in New Jersey was unsurprisingly annoyed and devastated to find their engagement photo featured prominently in campaign materials sent out by bigoted foes of a Colorado Republican who defied his party to back a civil unions bill.

Sergeant Kyle Nice, out from under investigations into his role in a gun-waving road-rage case and the James Chasse beating death in 2006, is back on the street, the O reports.

Apple's Tim Cook: Sorry our Maps app is kinda/sorta stinky. But you know who's got one that's pretty good? Microsoft.

The TSA is going to steal your iPad. The more you know, right?

HEY, LOOK! SPORTS ARE TERRIBLE.

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