President Obama was on his way to another terrible week in the polls. Until this ray of sunshine flickered through the dark, smeary clouds: A survey showing the president with a slight edge over Willard Romney in Latino-heavy Arizona.

And whoever wins won't get to take off the thigh-high shit-kicking boots for a good long while. It seems like there's a recovery under way, but a stinky flood of policy decisions, if they go badly, could send us screaming back toward recession.

A "professional daredevil" wants to break the sound barrier by putting on a panic-inducing pressurized suit and jumping to earth from the stratosphere.

Libya, lacking a real army or any police agencies after years of iron-fisted rule by Moammar Qaddafi, is unsurprisingly falling short on a promise to bust up the militias (and their guns) that have sprung up to fill that gap.

Everyone's upset that the Taliban sent a hit squad to murder a 14-year-old Pakistani girl agitating for equal rights, freedom, education, and decency. But Madonna? Yeah, you're not helping.

The two Pussy Riot members still in custody for an anti-Vladimir Putin stunt at a church are looking at life not in a gulag, but in a Russian penal colony infamous for its "corrective labor" requirements and terrible bullying from other inmates—usually ordered at the behest of the authorities.

It's been much harder to ferry the decommissioned space shuttle Endeavour across several miles of the Los Angeles streetscape than originally anticipated. It's going slooooooooooooow.

One of the two Koch brothers, among the Republican Party's main padrones, is being sued amid accusations he kidnapped a top executive and wouldn't let him leave his secluded ranch until finishing a harsh interrogation over rumors the man had been fleecing the company.

Friday's record rainfall will come close to finding its match in a storm that's headed for Portland tonight and expected to linger until Monday morning.

OH! AND AN UNLUCKY WORKER
AT BUMBLE BEE TUNA WAS FOUND COOKED TO DEATH INSIDE A GIANT STEAMING MACHINE THIS WEEKEND. LET'S PAY OUR RESPECTS, SHALL WE?