Suddenly hundreds of cock-gobbling noises were silenced.

I guess what we're facing is a seamen shortage?

Well Dirk...
Clearly you known absolutely nothing about the Rose Festival or anything else maritime. Where are you from? Missouri?

"Come on, though. Canadian sailors?"

I know working for the Mercury, you make a living trying to epitomize snarkyness But you are just making an idiot of yourself.

The Canadians have been coming down for years and are nothing short of brilliant.

All Canadian Ships ala the British Royal Navy, have bars on board and are THE place to party during Rose Festival. U.S. Navy ships are dry....and dull. Too bad you wouldn't get an invite, I'm sure seafarers with an incredibly long and proud history would spot a wanker like you a league over the horizon.

Relax kids...there will be plenty of Penicillin for everyone this year.

Well this further kills my fantasy/devastating need for a man in dress whites. A Canadian sailor would certainly suffice, however. But this time sequestration has gone too far. Bar sluts unite!

Watch out for those Canadian Sailors..!
http://www.blueoregon.com/2013/04/dr-huma-…

"... find ways to engage locally..."

Wink, wink. Probably better than just saying "drink and screw everything in sight."

Aww, but who will dredge the bodies now?!