Biden and Harris win, and HELL YEAH WERE CELEBRATING!
Biden and Harris win, and HELL YEAH WE'RE CELEBRATING! Joe Raedle / Getty News

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GOOD AFTERNOON AND WELCOME BACK, AMERICA! With the election of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, a sense of hope has been returned to us after four years of near-immeasurable obnoxiousness and cruelty from Trump and his Republican enablers. In short, while we certainly have a lot of work ahead of us to repair the damage that's been done before and after Trump, today... IT FEELS PRETTY FUCKING GOOD. Let's hit some Tweets and headlines.

• First, our Blair Stenvick has a great recap of the moments immediately following Biden's victory was announced, and what local politicians and activists had to say about it.

• Let's sing a song of celebration for Vice President-elect Kamala Harris: The first woman, the first Black woman, the first Indian-American woman, and the first daughter of immigrants to be sworn in as vice president.

• Rich Smith and Charles Mudede of our sister publication The Stranger offered this excellent partial list of the people and organizations that the Biden/Harris campaign (and Dems in general) have to thank for their victory.

• President-elect Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris (SWOON) will be addressing Americans on all major networks starting at 5 pm PST.

• You hate to see it (which is to say you LOVE to see it): "Trump returns to White House to a scene of thousands celebrating his defeat."

• Because he knows that he has to get right to fucking work on putting out the multiple garbage fires set by Trump over the last four years, on Monday Biden will be announcing his handpicked coronavirus task force.

• To show how much work needs to be done, and that we need Biden in charge of the COVID crisis asap, the Oregon Health Authority reported a new chilling record of single-day positive coronavirus cases in the state: 988 new infections, and 13 more deaths. This happens one day after Gov. Brown declared a two-week "pause" in socializing for the citizens of five Oregon counties, including Multnomah.

• People across the country—including Portland—are celebrating in the streets (AS THEY SHOULD).

• Meanwhile Trump—who was playing golf when he got the bad news his wrinkled, corrupt ass had been handed to him—is threatening to take his resounding loss to the courts in an attempt to, I suppose, embarrass himself further after losing again. In that, I think he'll be successful.

• His deluded (and yeah, I'll say it, "deplorable") supporters are also swearing that this situation, which is indeed over, is not over. However, their tears and heartbreak are welcome to stick around, as far as I'm concerned. There's a handful of these snowflake losers marching around in Salem right now, if anyone besides them cares.

• More bad news for the administration who are currently brushing up their resumes: Trump's chief of staff Mark Meadows has tested positive for COVID-19... but of course, hid that information from public, and was closely huddled (maskless) with White House staff and the Trump family on election night.

• On a personal note, I know we're all ecstatic about the necessary removal of Donald Trump. But I'd also like to bring to your attention the scary fact about how close we were to also having the absolutely racist, white nationalist-spouting STEPHEN MILLER in Trump's ear for the next four years. The longtime aide was behind ALL of the administration's anti-immigration sentiment—including the Muslim ban and separating thousands of migrant children from their parents... hundreds of whom may never see those parents again. But here's the thing: Miller fully expected to return to his job after this election, and had a four-year plan to continue and build upon his racist policies. I'm not sure if any of the Trump administration will be arrested for their heinous crimes after Inauguration Day, but I hereby nominate Miller to be close to the top of the list... and also invite him to burn forever in hell.

• And finally, this reporter speaks for EVERY JOURNALIST IN AMERICA right now: