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Good afternoon, Portland! Here's the latest on local news, national news, and a little bit of fun.

In local news:

• A new audit shows that the City of Portland isn't prepared to help people with disabilities in the event of an emergency—like a massive earthquake, for example. Portland City Auditor Mary Hull Caballero told OPB that the policies currently in place are "too vague, they’re too superficial for actual use, and in many cases they may be outdated."

• Speaking of natural disasters: Almost 60 earthquakes hit the ocean off the Oregon coast yesterday and today. But don't worry; there isn't a tsunami expected, and this isn't a harbinger of "the big one."

• Here's a good read—"good" meaning "extensive and sobering":

• Terri Preeg Riggsby, a regional conservation leader, announced her run for the recently vacated Metro Council District 6 seat Monday. She's the second person to actively seek out the vacant District 6 seat, which covers a large swath of south Portland. Duncan Hwang, Asian Pacific American Network of Oregon (APANO) co-director, announced his campaign for the seat in October.

In national news:

• It turns out that the omicron variant might not be as bad as we'd feared. In an interview, Rochelle Walensky with the CDC said that of the 40 cases detected in the United States so far, most of them were mild, and none have resulted in death.

• The Supreme Court heard oral arguments this morning in Carson v. Makin, a case about whether private, religious schools ought to receive taxpayer funding. All six conservative justices appear eager to side with the religious zealots.

• Normal, good country:

• Former Theranos CEO/scammer girlboss Elizabeth Holmes just wrapped up a lengthy seven days of testimony in her own federal trial for fraud. The jury will soon start deliberations—will they also be charmed and fooled by Holmes?

And just for fun:

• Stacy Brewster’s debut collection, What We Pick Up, spans space and time. The stories take place everywhere from rural Oregon to Los Angeles, New York, and Portland, and occur between the 1930s and present day. The collection centers queer characters dealing with their version of family (both of origin and chosen), masculinity, and love. Read the Mercury's Q&A with Brewster.

• And finally, you won't want to miss this entry in our Holiday Debauchery Guide: