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Sandbags inside the maternity hospital in Kyiv area, Ukraine.
Sandbags inside a maternity hospital in Kyiv area, Ukraine. Anastasia Vlasova/Getty Images

Good morning, Portland! You're incredibly fast and strong. You speak like you come from a different time. Yes, I do want an entirely Jennifer Coolidge Twilight.


• Oregon Sculptor Lee Kelly has died at age 89. He passed at Leland Iron Works, his four-acre studio and home, Oregon Artswatch reports. Known for his large, abstract metalwork, Portlanders may be most immediately familiar with his Memory 99 sculpture, which sits outside the Pacific Northwest College of Art.

• Bike Portland wrote up a thorough rundown of Monday night's Beaumont-Wilshire Neighborhood Association meeting, where board members voted against a traffic safety pilot proposal that would have collected traffic data at the intersection of NE Fremont and Alameda. The people demand to turn left!

• Those who follow me on Twitter know that I was recently on a bus that smelled very bad. (Thank you for your concern. I am fine.) When the bus driver abruptly left the bus and never returned, no one blamed him. It was a very bad smell. In related news, Trimet has raised their hiring bonus to $3,500!

• OPB reports that in Oregon, nearly a third of jobs in addiction and recovery are unfilled. The emotional toll is part of the problem. Low pay is another.

• There's a new festival kicking off its inaugural year this weekend at the Hollywood Theatre. CINE / SEEN's organizers have been planning the single night fest for more than a year and whittled down nearly 60 submissions to six shorts, which they think best highlight underrepresented local filmmakers from the Pacific Northwest. Well-known Portland comedians Shain Brenden and Katie Nguyen also perform stand-up sets.


• Russia said it would scale back its assault around Ukraine's capital of Kyiv and the nearby city of Chernihiv—two areas which were already slow-going for Russian armies—due to peace talks, but no one actually believed them. People in Chernhiv say Russian forces are still roaming the area at night, destroying bridges and other infrastructure.

• The eleven violent deaths in Israel, that have tragically unfolded over the course of the past two weeks, are far more complex than a simple headline can convey. Most of the recent victims were Israeli Jews, but some were also members of the area's Arab minority.

• Everything's fine! Everything's normal. There's a heatwave in Antarctica where temperatures are 70 degrees above normal. Everything's fine!

• AHOY THERE, STONERS! The SPLIFF Film Festival—featuring short, hilarious, trippy, and thoughtful mini-movies about cannabis and made by stoners just like YOU—is coming to Revolution Hall for one night only on Saturday, April 16! GET THOSE TICKETS NOW!

• In conclusion: