Out of all the stores in Portland planning to close up shop in 2006, none can top Jower's, a Mecca of clothes for the "working man."

Founded in 1906 by Juan Jower, the center for Carhart jeans, Ben Davis overalls, and other fine work-related name brands will close up shop on the "eve of its 100th birthday," says one store employee. "The owner wants to close because of the economy and all, and just thought the hundred-year mark would be a perfect time," she adds.

Fans of Jower's, though saddened by the news, are presently more worried about the brief amount of time left; they have only three more years to make their purchases. A sign on the front counter, "CLOSING IN 2006," serves as an ominous warning that time is indeed short. The sign joins Jower's other menacing front door sign that warns young people to STAY OUT.

"We're a working man's store, not a store for kids," mutters the anonymous employee. "If you're a kid and you have a legitimate pay stub, then we might let you in."

You hear that, kids? That gives you THREE YEARS to find legitimate employment! JWS

Jower's, 8801 N Lombard. Don't waste another second! 2006 will be here before you know it.