Portland Wants Squatch!

Why We Should Trade Our Mascot for Seattle's


Right on!
Oh my god are you insane? You have obviously never been to a Blazer game as a true Blazer fan. Have you even read Blaze's life story? I'm sure you wouldn't even know where to find it. Blaze is an inspiration. How dare you. Why don't you move to Oklahoma City?
Unfortunately, it looks like Squatch (or what lies beneath) is under contract to go to OKC:

Blaze is a relic of the past: the weed smoking trail cat who was clearly modeled after Darius Miles. (remarkable resembalance don't you think?)

Far from being an inspiration, Blaze dulls the senses and makes the team look more like a bunch of cartoon fools than the lean machine that they truly are. As a season ticket holder, one who sits in the nose-bleeds with the true fans, I know that "Blaze's life story" is pretty lame: he's a marketing tool dreamed up a fairly recently during the dark reign of Bob Whitsett.

Now the squatch fairly reeks of the northwest; a furry musty aroma of mixed hops, b.o., and the forest. Just imagine him decked out in Blazer gear sprinting toward the hoop for a monster dunk with his fur flying wildly- a wookie like roar as he throws it down and takes out the goofy Blaze who stands too stoned to even put up an ounce of D.

No, dump the cat and steal the squatch.