As a new mom in her late 30's who was mostly ambivalent about having a kid until I held my daughter in her arms, I commend you for writing this and I hope it sparks more conversation on this issue. Before I became a mom, most of my friends didn't understand why I was so conflicted. They felt the issue was very black and white. Either you do or you don't. In hindsight I'm really really glad I fought my internal struggle because I think it makes me a better, more prepared, less regretful and resentful parent.

This is a thoughtful column, but I have to take issue with the whole idea of people being "forced" to be parents. No one who has consensual sex is being forced -- if you enter into a sexual relationship, you're telling Mother Nature, if not yourself, you're open to procreation. As a single parent, I have abstained at times for months, even years, from sex because I felt if my birth control failed I wasn't ready for another child and I don't like abortion. I have been as poor as some of the people to whom you refer in this column, but a lot of poor people are as irresponsible as middle class and wealthy people -- they don't use their sexuality responsibly but then want taxpayers to pick up the tab. Here's a simple mantra to repeat to yourself -- You being horny is not my problem. And if you are, and aren't on the pill or using another form of birth control, condoms don't cost that much, and if you refuse to make your partner wear one, that onus is on you, not the system or society or whoever. I support everyone's right to have or not have children, but a lot of people in our society act like entitled, spoiled narcissists when it comes to sex instead of mature adults. Like it or not, either you learn to control your sexual impulses or they will control you, and the rest of us will often be left picking up the tab to pay for your failure to use that big brain of yours to control the ones in your nether regions.