Hey there, kids! Welcome to our annual Back-to-School Guide! Representing hours of work from countless writers, herein you'll find all the goods and services you'll need for returning to school. Whether you're a young rapscallion just starting kindergarten, a post-grad gearing up for a dissertation, or someone just looking for some fun stuff to do around town, the Back-to-School Guide will have you covere&hellip

Hey! Wait one goddamn minute! All of these activities are recommended by students from my school! And not the good students, either! There's that jackass Bender, that primping simpleton Claire, and that annoying little peewee Brian! There's even that freaky Allison and that sporto dumbass Andy! Hey… these are all the kids that were in that detention session a few Saturdays ago….

Geez Louise, did they ever give me a hard time! And they even started some stupid little club… what was it called? Never mind. It doesn't matter. Anyway, you'd better not read this. Those losers won't have anything good to recommend. Don't turn that page! Don't do it! Don't socialize with them! They're bad influences! Don't make me--alright! You asked for it! You've got detention! I'll see you Saturday, jackass! In the library!