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Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the presidential race.
Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the presidential race. Scott Eisen / Getty News

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! This one is for the boys with the booming system. Top down, AC with the cooler system. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

As of Tuesday, the number of positive coronavirus cases in Oregon (that we know of) rose to 1,181, with 33 deaths.

If you think you're too fit and healthy to nearly die from COVID-19, read these harrowing stories from fit and healthy Oregonians... AND STAY INSIDE.

Two houseless people in Multnomah County have tested positive for the coronavirus, indicating the virus has reached one of the most vulnerable communities.

Multnomah County is considering extending the deadline that renters have to notify their landlords if they can't pay their rent.

Prosper Portland announced their list of small businesses who received an emergency grant... and if you applied, you probably didn't get it.

The average Portlander is suffering greatly, both emotionally and financially, from the COVID-19 crisis—and those woes are compounded if you're Deaf. Our Blair Stenvick talks to some Deaf Oregonians to find out more about the challenges they face.

Paul Stevens, the owner of the Clinton neighborhood's Night Light Lounge, wrote an illuminating editorial for the Mercury about how the Paycheck Protection Program could be hurting small businesses more than helping.

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is dropping out of the race, thereby clearing the path for Joe Biden to take on Trump this fall.

Democrats want to double the $250 billion emergency measure suggested by the White House while making sure at least half of that money goes through community banks so that it gets to farmers, women, people of color, and veterans.

While COVID-19 may have been slow out of the gate when it comes to rural communities, it is gaining ground very quickly.

According to the latest data from major cities, the virus is killing Black people at a disproportionately high rate, thanks to inequities in resources, health, and access to medical care.

THIS WILL NOT SURPRISE YOU: In a leaked video, a high-level Small Business Administration official is yelling about how banks who are supposed to be providing loans are turning their backs on small businesses.

A new poll now reveals the obvious: A majority of Americans think that the federal government and Trump did a terrible job in slowing the spread of the virus.

Trump is now threatening to withhold funds from the World Health Organization, because he is a racist dumb shit who believes they are being too "China-centric."

The CDC is considering loosening some social distancing restrictions for critical workers who are asymptomatic—but they still need to wear a face mask and have their temperature taken twice per day.

Ummm... I didn't have this headline on my coronavirus bingo card: "Virus May Spark 'Devastating' Global Condom Shortage."

Beloved country singer/songwriter John Prine ("Angel from Montgomery") has died due to complications from the coronavirus. He was 73.

If you're looking for a pant-load of funny stuff to brighten up your day, look no further than the daily Mercury Cheer Up Club!

And if you're looking for a fun AND FASHIONABLE way to support the Mercury, how about buying a Mercury "TP" T-shirt?

Now let's cast our eyes skyward to the WEATHER: Two gorgeous sunny days ahead with highs in the low 70s?? It's THONG WEATHER, Y'ALL!

And finally... man, if I had a nickel for every time this happened to me....