Ann, you've been a sensational, sassy, sexy, soused sister lo these many years. Don't pay no mind to all those folks who say you've never had talent or accomplished anything! Sure, the mouth-breathers may have conspired to turn your bubble-gum into a front row seat at the end of the world these last few, but you never stopped spilling the tea and slinging the glib. Thanks for all the laffs!

^ As Ann has already said many times... "Thanks, I'm married." ;)

P.S. Ann, you're awesome, and thanks for sharing that with us!

Final column?! What? Where oh where will Portlanders get their 10-day old celebrity news they've already read at the Huffington Post?!