Your daddys a rapist, Tripp.
  • "Your daddy's a rapist, Tripp."
Bristol Palin now claims that she was abstinent and was saving herself for marriage—was so!—and that she only got pregnant as unmarried, abstinent teenager because this "gnat" Levi Johnston got her drunk on wine coolers and raped her in a tent.

Um... so when's the defamation lawsuit, Levi?

And for what it's worth: I don't believe Bristol. It's not that I think boys like Levi are incapable of getting girls black-out drunk on wine coolers and fucking 'em after they've passed out in tents, or that boys who rape drunk girls shouldn't be arrested and prosecuted. It's just that Bristol's story—which comes so long after her two broken engagements to Levi—is the kind of self-exonerating bullshit that scared teenagers offer up to parents and other authority figures when it's just their good-girl reputations and saving-myself-for-marriage self-images that are on the line. And Bristol's got a lot more than that on the line: she's a spokesnoodle for an abstinence organization and a rightwing darlin' and she's out there workin' the sexphobe speaking circuit. ("Screw as I say, not as I screw.") Bristol has a paycheck to worry about. And just as the story of Paul Revere's Midnight Ride had to be changed to protect Sarah Palin's public image/political viability, the story of Tripp Palin's conception has now been changed to protect Bristol Palin's public image/financial viability.

But Sarah didn't get away with rewriting history and neither should Bristol.