choose your own adventure

Thrilled by the prospect of making first contact with extraterrestrial life, you and your girlfriend become rather randy as you wait for Cook-Bot's signal to be noticed by aliens. In no time at all, she's wearing only skimpy white underwear, and you're only in your boxer shorts and trusty aviator sunglasses.

Suddenly, your totally awesome grope-session is interrupted by a beam of blood-red light. Looking up, you realize it is coming from the door of a UFO—which has landed silently nearby!

Your girlfriend screams as hordes of creepy blue-skinned aliens pour from the metallic disc.

"Glurk glick clom dlurm!" shouts the nearest alien, brandishing a threatening-looking silver rod in your direction.

"Yeah, sure," you reply. "Say, do you guys know where I might find a saber-toothed tiger heart? Or do you guys have a time machine or something?"

"GLURK GLICK CLOM DLURM!" shouts the increasingly irate alien leader. Suddenly, the rod's tip begins to glow a menacing green.

"Noooo!" shouts your girlfriend, who grabs Cook-Bot and pushes him in front of the green laser beam. Reflecting off of his chrome exterior, the laser beam strikes down all of the aliens—but not without taking its toll on Cook-Bot, whose wired innards are exposed and sparking. Smoke drifts from his charred metallic torso.

"Cook-Bot! You saved the whole human race!" shouts your girlfriend.

"Dude, they might've known where a saber-toothed tiger heart was," you say. "Thanks for fucking everything up, you glorified toaster."

"It's a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done. It's a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever knooowwwwnnnnnnnn," says Cook-Bot. With a final electronic sigh, he dies.

Your girlfriend rushes into your arms, weeping.

"Well, I didn't get the heart," you think to yourself, comforting her. "So that's done with. But at least my girlfriend saved my life by pushing Cook-Bot in front of that death-ray... OR DID SHE?!"

If you think your girlfriend saved your life, you'll want to reward her. But what should you get her? Well, if there's one thing this crazy adventure has taught you, it's that diamonds are a girl's best friend! Click here.

If you think your girlfriend fucked everything up by killing the aliens, who totally might have (probably not, but maybe) known how to get a saber-toothed tiger heart or something, click here.

To go back, click here.


Acme-The Janglies, 7:30 pm

Alberta St. Pub-Monty Green's Bluegrass Invite, 9 pm, free

Ash St. Saloon-Yaotl Mictlan, Malphrenia, Caustic, Grieving Sun, 2 Min Hate, 9:15 pm, $5

Berbati's Pan-The Listening, Mercir, Caves, Careen, $6; The Incredible Kid, DJ Anjali, 9 pm, free (barside)

C-Bar-Ditch Richards, David Rynhart, 8 pm

Casa Colima-Cubaneo

Clyde's Prime Rib-Jim Mesi, Steve Bradley

Dante's-The Sword, Early Man, Priestess, Ditchliquor, 9:30 pm, $5

Doug Fir-Loch Lomond, Nick Jaina, The Separatists, 9 pm, $5

Duff's Garage-Ida Hopper

East Chinatown Lounge-DJ Missnomer, 6 pm; Auditory Sculpture w/Mic Crenshaw, 10:30 pm, free

Edgefield-Mark Alan

Fez-Matt Gilligan, Gregory Miles Harris, The Prescott Trumbos, Jenny Sizzler, Jasmine Ash, 7 pm, free; Invasion w/DJ Catalyst, 10 pm, free

Food Hole-Lazarus, Tiger Saw, 2% Majesty, Red Leaf Black Bird, The Shaky Hands

Gemini-Karaoke from Hell

Goodfoot-Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey, The Dead Kenny Gs

Green Room-So Called Blues Band, 9 pm

Hawthorne Theatre-Selah PR, 9 pm, $8

Holocene-The Blow, Copy, The Kingdom, Blitzen Trapper, Strategy, The Snuggle Ups, Yacht, Solenoid, PGE, Alan Singley & Pants Machine, Dizzy Starhouse, Kittenz, 8:30 pm, $8

Imbibe-TranceLucid, 9 pm

It's A Beautiful Pizza-Grant Richards, Charlie Stanford, 7 pm

Jimmy Mak's-Mel Brown B3 Organ Quartet, 9 pm, $5

Kennedy School-The Bad Dates, Community Singing w/The Portland Sacred Harp, 7 pm, free

Laurelthirst-Lewi Longmire, 6 pm; Celilo, 9:30 pm, $4

Mississippi Pizza-Keegan Smith, Pilar French, Rachel Taylor Brown, 7:30 pm

Mississippi Studios-Tom Grant, 8 pm, $10

Music Millennium NW-David Finkel, Wu Han, noon; Paul Manousos, 6 pm

Poor Richard's-Lynn Conover, Janet Julian

Red & Black Cafe-Tom McNally Group

River Roadhouse-Stonecreep, Endless Rage

Rock Creek Tavern-Clontarf Ramblers, 9 pm, free

Rock N Roll Pizza-The Warriors, Blacklisted, Embrace the End, With or Without You, The Burning Room, 6 pm

Roots Brewing-Slowly Rising, 8 pm

Rose Garden-Il Divo, Hayley Westenra, 7:30 pm, $45-75

Sabala's Mt. Tabor-Tenderbox

Shedd Institute for the Arts (Eugene)-Dick Hyman, 7:30 pm, $23-32

Siam Society-Captain Dan's Pocket Jazz Trio, 8 pm, free

Sweet Oregon Grill-Jon Koonce, 7 pm

The Know-Last Thursday w/Zach, 9 pm

The Stein Haus-Haus Cats

Thunder Ranch Saloon-Jennifer Lynn

Tillicum Club-Lloyd Jones, 8 pm

Tonic-Umber Sleeping, Sad Panda, Jennifer Echo

Viper Room-Lyle Ford, 7 pm

Wallbangers-Dueling Pianos

White Eagle-Wax Edison, 8:30 pm, $4

Wilf's Piano Bar-Patrick Lamb Band

WOW Hall (Eugene)-Action Action, Something for Rockets, Men, Women & Children, Ahimsa Theory, 8:30 pm, $8-10


Acme-Krav Maga, Hott Pink, 8 pm; DJ Sharon Needles, 10 pm

Aladdin-Nada Surf, Rogue Wave, Inara George, 8 pm, $13.50-15

Alberta St. Pub-Sassparilla Jug Band, 6 pm, free

Ash St. Saloon-Johnny Cash Tribute: Joshua James, Morgan Geer, Kate Mann, Johnny Mercury, The Runaway Trains, Jennifer Lynn, 9:30 pm, $5

Berbati's Pan-Ambiance w/The Mighty Juggernaut, DJ OG One, $10; DJ P. Disco, 9 pm, free (barside)

Blue Monk-Devin Phillips & New Orleans Straight Ahead, 7:30 pm, $20

Chinook Winds Casino-Foreigner, 8 pm, $20-35

Corner Saloon-Hipwaiters

Crystal Ballroom-Hot for Teacher, The Zucchini Brothers, The Sinner's Club, 8 pm; '80s Video Dance Attack w/VJ Kittyrox, 10 pm, $3 (Lola's)

Dante's-Yellow Snow Tour: The Beautiful Girls, Mishka, 9:30 pm, $10

Doug Fir-Hell's Belles, Storm & The Balls, 9 pm, $15 adv.; Rotate w/Amber Martin, midnight-3 am, free

Driftwood Tavern-Open Mic w/Doc Michaels

Dublin Pub-The Boys Next Door, T Ray & The Shades, 7 pm

Duff's Garage-Lisa & Her Kin

Edgefield-Greg Clarke

Eliot Hall at Reed College-Daniel Menche, Ghosting, Pulse Emitter, Leif Sundstrom, Watery Graves

First United Methodist Church-Columbia Symphony Orchestra, 8 pm

Food Hole-Deathstar, Winds of Flight, Time for Change, To Fall Victim

Gemini-Erin Black Band

Grand Lodge-Kate Mann, 7 pm, free

Green Room-Juke Joint Gamblers, Aric, Riley, The Martindales, 9:30 pm

Grolla-Jim Soloway

Ground Kontrol-Time Lapse: History of the Future, Beige Ferrari, DJ Moonchild, 9:30 pm, $3

Hawthorne Theatre-Uprite Dub Orchestra, Lurid, Hello Square, 9 pm, $8

Heathman Hotel-Stephanie Schneiderman

Holocene-Fleshtone, DJ Tigerstripes, Amber Martin, Caught in Candy, Sol, 9 pm, $5

Hotel Oregon-Johnny B. Connolly, 7 pm, free

Imbibe-Happy Hour w/Little Sue, 6 pm; Dee Settlemier, 9:30 pm, $5

In Other Words-Teri Untalan, Dominque Garcia, 5:30 pm, $5

Jasmine Tree-Colin Spring, Andi Camp, Chris McFarland, 9 pm, free

Jax-Hank Hirsh Quintet, 8 pm

Jimmy Mak's-Liv Warfield, 9 pm, $12

Jolly Roger-Earl & The Reggae Allstars, 10 pm, free

Kells-Grafton Street, 9:30 pm

Kelly's Olympian-Metal Night

Laurelthirst-Reggie's Box of Chocolates, 6 pm, free; Freak Mountain Ramblers, 9:30 pm, $6

LV's Uptown-Jazz Fest: David Friesen, John Gross, 8 pm

Mississippi Pizza-Amanda Richards, 6 pm; Virginia Lopez, Melao Project, 9 pm

Mississippi Studios-Amelia, Ritchie Young, Anya Marina, 8 pm, $20

Mock Crest-Sneakin' Out, 9 pm

Montego Bay-Kat & The Roots Revolution, 10 pm, free

Ninth Ave Public House-Gothic Outhouse, 8:30 pm

Paris Theatre-Josh Ingerman, Coyleparker, Blue Ember, Random Thought, Michael Lansing

Poor Richard's-The Commercial Underground

Produce Row-Anonymn, $3

Pshaw!-Happy Hour w/Eric Allen, Brian Lowe, Roots Revolution, Katt the Charming Lion

Queen of Hearts Tavern-Steve Lockwood Band, 8 pm

River Roadhouse-Rockhounds

Rock Creek Tavern-Michael Meanwhile, 9 pm, free

Rock N Roll Pizza-36 Crazyfists, Kane Hodder, The Mediam, BlueTurnsWhite, Subconscious, 7 pm, $5

Roots Brewing-Left Hand Monkey Wrench, 8 pm

Sweet Oregon Grill-Feppo Brothers, 7 pm

The City-Kalakoa, 10 pm

The Know-Carl Weathers for Governor, The Draft, Drats!!!, 9 pm

The Old Church-Young Artist Jazz Concert, 7 pm, $10-12

The Stein Haus-Kenny Lee & The Sundowners

Tillicum Club-Marty Henninger, 8 pm

Towne Lounge-The Chancers, $3

Viper Room-Lyle Ford, 7 pm

Wallbangers-Dueling Pianos

White Eagle-Reverb Brothers, 5:30 pm, free; Timothy Hull, Casey Neill Band, 8:30 pm, $6

Wilf's Piano Bar-Richard Arnold & The Groove Swingers

Wong's-DK Stewart & The DK4

choose your own adventure

"You totally fucked shit up! Those aliens were totally going to help me! Maybe!"

"What're you talking about?" asks your girlfriend. "They were going to kill you. What would they even know about a saber-toothed tiger heart anyway? That's the worst idea I've ever heard. You always make the wrong choices. We're through, you ungrateful prick!"

Decades later, you rue this moment, when instead of thanking your girlfriend for saving the entire human race, you blamed her for ruining your chance to help a drunk old fuck save his pet saber-toothed tiger. Or something. You can't really remember in your Alzheimer's-stricken state. Penniless, emaciated, and with only your aviator glasses to your name, you die alone. In an alley. Naked.


To go back, click here.


Abou Karim Restaurant-Mary Kadderly Duo

Acme-The Decliners, Herkemer, Creeping Meatball, 9 pm, $4

Aladdin-Brandi Carlile, Gibb Droll

Alberta St. Pub-Zephyr French Cabaret, 7 pm, $6; Midnight Serenaders, The Stolen Sweets, 9:30 pm, $8

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall-Oregon Symphony w/Mambo Kings

Artichoke-Song Circle, 2 pm

Ash St. Saloon-Facepilot, Grievous, Flying Fortress, Elcerdo, Norska, 9:30 pm, $5

Beale Street NW-Rose City Kings Mardi Gras

Berbati's Pan-Dilated Peoples, Little Brother, Defari, DJ-OG One, 9:30 pm, $20

Billy Reed's-Nobu Ozaki, Mark DiFlorio

Blue Monk-3 Leg Torso, 9 pm, $10

Boons Treasury-Dan Neal Band

Cheerful Tortoise-Evelate, 10 pm, $5

Chinook Winds Casino-Foreigner, 8 pm, $20-35

Couch Gallery-CR Avery Band, 9 pm, $5

Dante's-Kultur Shock, Levon Levan, Jill Brazil, 9:30 pm, $7-8

Devils Point-The Drycounty Crooks, The Flapjacks, The Sawyer Family, 10 pm, $5

Doug Fir-Bat Makumba, Children of the Revolution, DJ Felina, 9 pm, $13-15; Knotty Disco w/DJs Mr. MuMu, Barrett Paul, midnight-3 am, $5-8

Dublin Pub-Jason Fellman Band, 7:30 pm, $5

Duff's Garage-Radio Giants

Edgefield-Michael Meanwhile

Food Hole-Truckless, Wifeswap, Bee's Knees

Gemini-Rick Welter

Goodfoot-5 Year Anniversary: Scott Pemberton, Scott Law, Tye North, Asher Fulero, Micah Kassell, Joe Cunningham, 9 pm, $6

Green Room-Insomniacs, 9:30 pm

Hawthorne Theatre-The Bled, Since by Man, As Cities Burn, 9 pm, $10

Hotel Oregon-Sonny Hess, 7 pm, free

Imbibe-Hank Hirsh, 9:30 pm, $5

Jimmy Mak's-Linda Hornbuickle

Jolly Roger-Earl & The Reggae Allstars, 10 pm, free

Kells-Grafton Street, 9:30 pm

Kelly's Olympian-Go Fever, DJ Colin Store

Laurelthirst-James Low, 6 pm; Deadwood Revival, Michael Jodell Band, 9:30 pm, $5

LV's Uptown-Jazz Fest: Sandy Dennison Trio, 8 pm

Mac's Place-The FlexTones, 9 pm, $5

McDonald Theatre (Eugene)-Relient K, The Rocket Summer, Maxeen

Mississippi Pizza-Lorna Miller's Little Kids' Jamboree, 4 pm, $5/family; Circle Dance, 6 pm; New Mexican Revolution, Tom Heinl, 9 pm

Mississippi Studios-Edie Carey, Anne Heaton, 8 pm, $12; Miraflores, 10 pm, $5

Mock Crest-Blueprints, 9 pm

Montego Bay-Kat & The Roots Revolution, 10 pm, free

Mt. Hood Sports Arena-Band Fest, 5 pm, $5

Music Millennium NW-Beltaine, 1 pm; The Lashes, 5 pm

Nocturnal-Marie Schumacher Band, 7 pm, free

Portland Coffee House (East)-Blues Trio, 8 pm

Pshaw!-Roots Revolution w/Katt the Chanting Lion

Reed College Student Union-Plan R, Clorox Girls, Statch & The Rapes, Autistic Youth, Wolfgang Williams, Punk Rock Faggots

River Roadhouse-Notorious

Rock Creek Tavern-Chuck & Dave Show, 9 pm, free

Rock N Roll Pizza-Systrum, Blacklist 40, In Memory, Bully, 9 pm, $8

Roots Brewing-Baktun, 8 pm

Sabala's Mt. Tabor-Excessive Moderation, Quandry

Slabtown-Ambulance for Angeles, 9 pm, $5

Studio Ten-Fifty-Liv Warfield, DJ Gemo, 9:30 m, $12

The Excommunicate House-Moth Drakula, Circuit Wound, Obstacle Corpse, Withdrawl Method, blowupnihilist, The Sunken w/IDX12274, 7 pm, $5

The Know-Rag & Bone Men

The Old Church-Akbar DePriest, Jof Lee, Ed Bennett, 7:30 pm, $13-15

The Stein Haus-Aaron Black Banc

Tiger Bar-Back to Reality: Hungry Mob, Cloud, Brown Recluse, DJ Venom 33 1/3, 10 pm, $2

Tillicum Club-Marty Henninger, 8 pm

Tonic-The Invisible Men, Jose Fang, Mistress & The Mister, Half Acre Day

Towne Lounge-Craig Wedren, The Dead Science, 8 Chainsaws per Spider, 9:30 pm, $8-10

Wallbangers-Dueling Pianos

White Eagle-Bad Dates, 9:30 pm, $6

Wilf's Piano Bar-Barbara Lusch Trio

Wired Coffee-S. Brooks, Animal Beard, 7 pm

Wong's-DK Stewart & The DK4

WOW Hall (Eugene)-The Waybacks, Taarka, 8:30 pm, $8-10

Xenos-Firedancing, Banjo Picking


Aladdin-The Waybacks, The Mammals

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall-Oregon Symphony w/Mambo Kings

Ash St. Saloon-L'Acephale, Book of Black Earth, Doom Lit Sky, Bluf auf dem Eisen, 10 pm, $5

Baraka-Trashcan Joe

Beale Street NW-Gospel Lunch, 1 pm; Tag Team, 7 pm

Berbati's Pan-Libretto, Ray Ray, Soul Plasma, Pricy, Chef Boy R Bangers, DJ Lightfingers, 9 pm, $8; The Word w/Paula B (barside)

Biddy McGraw's-Irish Music Open Jam

Crystal Ballroom-Matisyahu, Trevor Hall, 9 pm, $20-22; Hive: DJ Blackout, Owen, 9 pm, $3 (Lola's)

Dante's-Sinferno Cabaret, 9 pm, $6

Duff's Garage-All-Star Blues

Edgefield-Caroline Oakley, Peter Leone

Hawthorne Theatre-Toasters, Westbound Train, Satori, Uprite Dub Orchestra, 9 pm, $12

Imbibe-Brudda Walter, 7 pm

It's A Beautiful Pizza-Gypsy Jazz, 8 pm

IWW Hall-Far from Finished, Defect Defect

Kells-Pat Buckley, 9 pm

Laurelthirst-Freak Mountain Ramblers, 6 pm; Neil Gilpin's Belmont St. Octet, 10 pm, $3

Loveland-Motion City Soundtrack, Ok Go, Plain White Ts, The Spill Canvas, 6:15 pm, $13.50-15

Mississippi Pizza-Njuzu Mbira, 4 pm; Cuba Ache, 7 pm

Mock Crest-Steve Cameron, Dave Mathis, 8 pm

Moon & Sixpence-Foghorn Stringband, free

Music Millennium NW-The Mammals, 3 pm

Muu Muu's-Sunday Chill w/Will West, 8 pm

Pshaw!-Chata Addy's Drum Jam, 8 pm

River Roadhouse-Etched in Stone

Rock Creek Tavern-Billy Kennedy & Jon Sokol, 4 pm, free

Rock N Roll Pizza-Action Action, Something for Rockets, Men, Women & Children, Stu's Shoes, $8-10

Sabala's Mt. Tabor-Dark Skies, The Del Toros, Howie & The Hotknives, The Weaklings, Slam Dunk, 9 pm

The Old Church-Florestan Trio, 7 pm

The Stein Haus-Kinzel & Hyde, 8:30 pm, free

Tillicum Club-Mike Winkle, 6 pm

Tonic-Trioxin Overdose, Curien, Among the Decayed, Godless

Towne Lounge-Mise en Abyme, Matthew Stadler, These Days, Metal, Christopher Himes, Charles Muede

Waverly Heights Congregational Church-Community Singing w/The Portland Sacred Harp, 2 pm, free

White Eagle-Open Mic w/John Vecchiarelli, Garth Michael McDermott, 8 pm, free


Alberta St. Pub-Tony Smiley, 6:30 pm, free

Amnesia Brewing Co.-Bingo w/Tom Heinl, 7:30 pm, free

Andina Restaurant-Sambafeat

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall-Oregon Symphony w/Mambo Kings

Biddy McGraw's-Lowell J. Mitchell Trio, 6 pm

Candlelight-D.K. Stewart & The DK4, 9 pm, free

Dante's-Ground Zero Lounge w/Clyde Lewis, 7:30 pm, free; Karaoke from Hell, 10 pm, $2

Doug Fir-Robert Pollard, Swords, 9 pm, $16-17

Dunes-Boy Eats Drum Machine, Neighborhood DJ, 9 pm, free

Edgefield-Skip Van Kuske Diva Series w/Lea Krueger, 7 pm, free

Food Hole-The Fugue, Ikebana, Me Con

Green Room-Open Mic w/Chuck Warda, 9 pm

It's A Beautiful Pizza-Five Euro Tip, 8 pm

Jimmy Mak's-Dan Balmer, 7:30 pm, free

Kells-Pat Buckley, 9 pm

Mississippi Pizza-Matt Vrba, Will West, Justin Blackenship, Josh Malm, Keegan Smith, 7 pm

Rock N Roll Pizza-Comeback Kid, Ignite, First Blood, Sinking Ships, Killing the Dream, 6 pm, $12

The Stein Haus-Lloyd Jones

White Eagle-Griffin, 8 pm, free


Andina Restaurant-Toshi Onizuka

Ash St. Saloon-Thorn City Improv: Sleep, Destro, Anaxagorus, Smoke, Soul Plasma, Andy B, Grand Verbal, Bo Bryan, AG, DJ Kez, 9:30 pm, $6

Beale Street NW-New Iberians, 8 pm

Biddy McGraw's-Dylan Thomas Vance, Griff Bear

C-Bar-Pagan Jug Band

Candlelight-Reggie Houston's Earth Island Band, 9:30 pm, free

Crystal Ballroom-Hit Explosion, The Devin Phillips Band, $9.71; Charlie Girl & The Big Package, 9 pm, $9.71 (Lola's)

Duff's Garage-Dover Weinberg Quartet

Edgefield-Caleb Klauder, Sammy Lind, 7 pm, free

Eliot Hall at Reed College-Ethnic Heritage Ensemble

Fez-Fat Tuesday: QuiVah, Manic D, Fogatron, DJ Papercuts, Seattle:MC, 9 pm, $7

Food Hole-Jessica Jones, Shaky Hands, Dragging an Ox Through Water, Horsefeathers

Green Room-Portland Songwriter Showcase, 9 pm

Hawthorne Theatre-The Birthday Massacre, The Gentry, 9 pm, $10

Imbibe-Paul Brainard, Billy Kennedy, 9:30 pm

It's A Beautiful Pizza-Balkan Music & Dance, 9 pm

Jimmy Mak's-Mel Brown Septet, 7:30 pm, $6

Kells-Pat Buckley, 9 pm

Ken's Place-Steve Cheseborough, 5 pm

Laurelthirst-Jackstraw, 6 pm

Lotus-Geoff Byrd, The Superficials, New Iberians, Storm & The Balls, $15

Mac's Place-DK Stewart & The DK4

Mock Crest-James Clem, 8 pm

Nocturnal-Blues Practica, 7 pm, $5

Rock Creek Tavern-Bluegrass Tuesdays, 7 pm, free

Sabala's Mt. Tabor-Captain Bogg & Salty

Sellwood Public House-Kinzel & Hyde, 6:30 pm, free

Tonic-Dolly Dolly, Berlin, The Empty, Boob

Towne Lounge-Impossible Shapes, Parks & Recreation, The Maybe Happening, 9:30 pm, $6

Twilight Cafe-Eric Allen & friends

Wallbangers-Dueling Pianos

White Eagle-Mary Gauthier, 9 pm, $15

Zach's Shack-Open Mic w/Grasshoppah, 10 pm, free


45th Street Pub-Open Mic

Acme-Modernstate, Alela Diane, Field Notes, 9 pm, $3

Alberta St. Pub-Zydeco Dance Party, 7 pm

Alexander's Lounge-Ron Steen Jazz Jam, 8 pm, free

Andina Restaurant-Neftali Rivera

Ash St. Saloon-Cityvein, Amara, Change it to Jack, Under the Ash, 9 pm, $4

Aura-Kalani Jazz Project, 8 pm, free

Beale Street NW-Conroy-DeBrie, 6 pm

Biddy McGraw's-Elizabeth Nicholson

Blue Monk-Lloyd Allen in the Mix

Boons Treasury-Steve Cheseborough

Buffalo Gap-Tracy Klas, 9 pm

Dante's-Storm & The Balls, 10 pm, $5

Doug Fir-John Weinland, The Waxfire, John Vecchiarelli, 9 pm, $5

Driftwood Tavern-Open Mic w/Doc Michaels

Duff's Garage-Blues Jam w/Suburban Slim

Edgefield-Rachel Taylor Brown

Food Hole-Orthrelm, Zombi, Get Hustle, Jonny X & The Groadies, $6-8

Green Room-Stephen Ashbrook

Hawthorne Theatre-Mest, Allister, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, The Classic Crime, Bottom Line, 9 pm, $15

Heathman Hotel-David Michael Lee, 7 pm

It's A Beautiful Pizza-Irish Music, 6 pm; Arabian Music, 8:30 pm

Kells-Pat Buckley, 9 pm

Laurelthirst-Casey Neill, Little Sue, Lewi Longmire, 6 pm, free; Jessica Stiles, 9 pm

Loveland-Gaza, Michigan, Fall of Enosis, Books Unburned, 7 pm, $8

Mission Theatre-Patrick Street, 8 pm

Mississippi Pizza-Trio Subronic, Chris Mosley, 7 pm

Moon & Sixpence-Trashcan Joe, 8:30 pm, free

Night Light Lounge-Atomic Jazz Ensemble, 9 pm, free

Noir-Kittenz, Hott Pink, Mr. Romo, 31 Avas, PGE

Paola's-Ezra Meredith, 9 pm

Pshaw!-Reggie Houston's Box of Chocolates, 7 pm; Lloyd Jones & friends, 10 pm

Red & Black Cafe-Anne Phillip, 8 pm

Rock N Roll Pizza-Eyes of Fire, LOSA, Amongst Us, Roanoke, Grieving Sun, 7 pm, $8

Roots Brewing-Stump Town Jug Thumpers, 8 pm

Tillicum Club-Rick Welter, 8 pm

Towne Lounge-Steve Wynn & The Miracle 3, Dan Jones & The Squids, 9:30 pm

Wallbangers-Dueling Pianos

White Eagle-Seven Year Tango, 8:30 pm, free

Wilf's Piano Bar-Valerie Day, Tom Grant

The Hutch-Suma w/ Edwin Fountaine, 8 pm



Backspace-Metronome: Microelectronic Funk

Bar of the Gods-Atom 13, Homonym, 10 pm

Ground Kontrol-TRONix: Discs of Jammotron, 9 pm, free

Noir-Ravi, Scottie Soul, 9 pm, free

Porky's Pub-Booty: DJs ChaotiQueer, Puppet, Stormy, MoRocca, 9 pm, $3

Produce Row-Small Axe, $3

Red Cap Garage-FSO DJ

Ringler's Pub-DJ Savi, 10 pm, free

Saucebox-Techno Sol w/DJ Suppoz, 10 pm, free

Tube-DJ KG

XV-The Remedy w/Santoztin


Baraka-Solovox Synphony Orkestra, VJ Schmeejay

Bettie Ford-DJ Evil One, Mr. Strack, $5

Fez-Shut Up & Dance w/DJ Gregarious, 10 pm, $5; DJ Moisti (Lounge)

Goodfoot-DJ Aquaman's Soul Stew, 10 pm

Gotham Building Tavern-DJ Dave Allen

Greek Cusina-Body Call w/ DJ Professor Stone, DJ Sneakers, DJ Wicked (Minoan); DJ Brett (Taverna)

Matador-DJ Trixie Doll, DJ Lucifina, 10 pm, free

Squeez-Erik Beats, 9 pm

Tube-Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots w/DJ Nikki C

XV-Superhappywax w/Soul Shepherds of the Sandpeople, free


Fez-Andaz w/DJ Anjali, The Incredible Kid, 9 pm, $7

Gotham Building Tavern-Reverend Shines

Ground Kontrol-Reagan-o-Mix: Jammotron, 9:30 pm, free

Holocene-Double Down: DJs 4Star, Dre, Harmony, 8 pm, $5

Noir-Dementia: Carrion, Uberlush, Horrid, 9 pm, $3

Produce Row-DJ Tim Blade, $3

Red Cap Garage-DJ Blu

Ringler's Pub-DJ Miranda, 10 pm, free

Ringlers Annex-DJ Ted Striker, 10 pm, free

Saucebox-Allumè w/Mr. Mumu, 10 pm, free

Tube-Gimme Danger w/DJ Maxamillion

U&I Tavern-DJ Mattbastard



Bettie Ford-Jayanta

Devils Point-Stripparaoke w/KJ Pinky, 9 pm, free

Greek Cusina-Industry Night

Holocene-Cupcake, 4 pm, $5

Kelly's Olympian-DJ One Pump

Matador-DJ Donny Don't, 10 pm, free

Night Light Lounge-SIN Night w/DJ Roommate, 10 pm, free

Noir-Hiphop Boutique: Mr. Romo, Hoben, PHI, Jaziz

Pala-Adam & Demetre, $1


Aalto Lounge-DJ Maxamillion

Devils Point-DJ Caution

Duff's Garage-Zombo's Mondo Party

East Chinatown Lounge-iPod uPod

Imbibe-Happy Hour w/Solovox, 7 pm, free

Kelly's Olympian-DJ Sars

Matador-DJ Hanna, 10 pm, free

Momo's-Mello Mondays w/DJ Mello Cee

Tonic-DJ Matt Machine

Towne Lounge-Jackpot Records Listening Party

Tube-DJ Pedro

XV-SIN Night w/House DJs


Berbati's Pan-Fat Tuesday w/Knotty DJs, 10 pm, $5

Goodfoot-Eclectic Selectors Perspective w/Seoul Brother #1, Atom13, Homonym, 10 pm, free

Holocene-Throwback Tuesdays: DJs Evil One, Sneakers, 9 pm, free

Night Light Lounge-Laptop Lounge Collective, 9 pm, free

Tube-No No No Disco w/DJ Nightschool

Wonder Ballroom-Amber Martin, 8 pm, free (cafe)

XV-Don't Hate w/Paula B


Fez-Devotion w/local DJs, 9:30 pm, free

Holocene-Gaycation: DJs Automaton, Hotpants, Snowtiger, 9 pm, free

Matador-FauxReal, 10 pm, free

Nocturnal-Tango Dancing, 7:30 pm, $5

Pix Patisserie-PRA Night, 9 pm

Tonic-Reggae Dancehall

choose your own adventure

YOU’RE LUNCH You: Intrepid time-explorer.
Me: Tyrannosaurus Rex.
When: 75 million years ago. You were delicious!


To go back, click here.