Illustration by Kalah Allen

To whoever lost a ripe honeydew melon on Macadam across from Zupan's—I was riding my bike to work Tuesday morning, thinking about how I'd forgotten to bring my lunch, when out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed a pale orb laying in the street. I had a hunch it was something special, and what a special thing it was. A melon! A whole ripe, honeydew melon, virtually unscathed after being dropped out of someone's shopping bag. I just want whoever lost their melon to know that it found a good home in my stomach. Finding that gutter melon delighted me far more than anything else in recent memory, so thank you, melon-loser. You made my week.—Anonymous