5th Quadrant (3901-B N Williams, 288-3996) Tons of microbrews and great burgers.

21st Avenue Bar & Grill (721 NW 21st, 222-4121) Spectacular patio.

Aalto Lounge (3356 SE Belmont, 235-6041) Hip, but not too hip.

Acapulco's Gold (2610 NW Vaughn, 220-0283) Lots of tequila.

Acme (1305 SE 8th, 230-9020) Bison burgers, beer, booze.

Acropolis (8325 SE McLoughlin, 231-9611) Steaks and boobs.

The Alibi (4024 N Interstate, 287-5335) Tiki + karaoke.

Amnesia Brewery (832 N Beech, 281-7708) Where to go drinkin' with your dog.

Ash Street Saloon (225 SW Ash, 226-0430) Rock and great mixed drinks.

Aura (1022 W Burnside, 597-2872) It's like a bar... in the future!

B Side Tavern (526 E Burnside, 233-3113) Cold beer, great jukebox.

Balcony (SE 39th & Hawthorne) Used to be a headshop. Hippies begone!

Bar of the Gods (4801 SE Hawthorne, 232-2037) Low-key. Smoky. Good.

Barley Mill Pub (1629 SE Hawthorne, 231-1492) Hippie-themed McMenamins.

Barracuda (9 NW 2nd, 228-6900) Bridge-and-tunnel honeys.

Basement Pub (1028 SE 12th, 231-6068) Fish that glow! And trivia.

Belmont's Inn (3357 SE Belmont, 232-1998) Lots of pool tables.

Berbati's Pan (10 SW 3rd, 226-2122) Awesome Greek fries.

Bettie Ford Lounge (1135 SW Washington, 445-8331) Hot DJs.

Beulahland (118 NE 28th, 235-2794) Friendliest staff ever.

Billy Ray's (2216 NE MLK, 287-7254) Big beers and ping pong tables.

Bink's (2715 NE Alberta, 493-4430) Great pizza. No Jar Jar.

Bitter End (1981 W Burnside, 222-2000) One-dollar Pabst on Mondays 7-midnight.

Blue Bird (8734 N Lombard, 283-2737) Divey tavern in St. Johns.

Blue Monk (3341 SE Belmont, 595-0575) Pasta and jazz.

Blue Moon (432 NW 21st, 223-3184) 'Ey, lad! Fancy a game o' snooker?

Bob & Alice's (6517 SE Foster, 774-8046) Friendly dive bar with an old-timey schooner feel.

Boiler Room (228 NW Davis, 227-5441) Only karaoke in Old Town.

Bonfire Lounge (2821 SE Stark, 232-3704) Best cheese tortellini. Better fries.

Boxxes (1035 SW Stark, 226-4171) Spacious, comfortable, gay.

BridgePort (1318 NW Northrup, 241-3612; 3632 SE Hawthorne, 233-6540) Where to take the parents.

Brown's Bar & Grill (6526 SE Foster, 772-0669) Great jukebox and crazy mirrors.

Buffalo Gap (6835 SW Macadam, 244-7111) Great bar food.

C-Bar (2878 SE Gladstone, 230-8808) Bigger/better than ever.

Candlelight Café (2032 SW 5th, 222-3378) The only blues bar on this list.

The Cheerful Tortoise (1939 SW 6th, 224-3377) PSU-centric sports bar.

Chin Yen (18 NE 28th, 231-7781) You can't handle these drinks!

Chinese Village (520 SE 82nd, 253-7545) It's like being in Big Trouble in Little China!

Chopsticks (2651 E Burnside, 234-6171) A good place to offer your rendition of "Darling Nikki."

Clinton Street Pub (2516 SE Clinton, 236-7137) For pinball wizards.

Club 21 (2035 NE Glisan, 235-5690) The Official After-Hours Offices of the Portland Mercury.

Colosso (1932 NE Broadway, 288-3333) Strong drinks, tapas.

Cosmos (6219 SE Foster, 777-9222) Friendly staff, video crack.

County Cork Public House (1329 NE Fremont, 284-4805) Very chill, very Irish.

Crackerjack's (2788 NW Thurman, 222-9069) Kickass patio.

Crow Bar (3954 N Mississippi, 280-7099) Good happy hour, and free WiFi!

Crush (1400 SE Morrison, 235-8150) Fabulously swanky.

Crystal Ballroom (1332 W Burnside, 225-0047) Bouncy.

DaDaDi KTV (2788 SE 82nd, 771-1451) Like Thailand! On 82nd!

Dad's (8608 N Lombard, 286-5512) Loud and dysfunctional—like your real dad!

Dancin' Bare (8440 N Interstate, 285-9073) No, not "bear"—bare.

Dante's (1 SW 3rd, 226-6630) Steven Seagal's Portland digs.

Devil's Point (5305 SE Foster, 774-4513) The home of Stripperoke.

Dingo's (4612 SE Hawthorne, 233-3996) Don't take your baby.

Dixie Tavern (34 NW 3rd, 234-9431) Where're them Duke boys at?!

Dot's (2521 SE Clinton, 235-0203) Clinton Street's standby.

Doug Fir (830 E Burnside, 231-9663) Fact! Paul Bunyan drinks here.

The Eagle (1300 W Burnside, 241-0105) Who doesn't love big, furry gay men?

East Chinatown Lounge (322 NW Everett, 226-1569) Chinatown's source for upscale attitude.

Edgefield (2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, 669-8610) Drinkin' on the links.

Farmer's Barn (7421 N Denver, 283-3044) Dive-o-riffic.

Fez Ballroom (318 SW 11th, 221-7262) Sweet, opium den-ish atmosphere.

Florida Room (435 N Killingsworth, 287-5658) Like Miami! On Killingsworth!

Gladstone Street Pub (3737 SE Gladstone, 775-3502) Comfy neighborhood bar with tasty, tasty food.

Goodfoot Lounge (2845 SE Stark, 239-9292) Drinking + dancing = fun.

Greater Trumps (1520 SE 37th, 235-4530) Cozy nook beside the Bagdad Theater.

Greek Cusina (404 SW Washington, 224-2288) They smash plates here!

Green Room (2280 NW Thurman, 228-6178) Year-round patio.

Ground Kontrol (511 NW Couch, 796-9364) Pac-Man: easier when drunk!

The Gypsy (625 NW 21st, 796-1859) Where young folks drink big drinks and get real drunk.

Hal's Tavern (1308 SE Morrison, 232-1259) Attention hardcore shuffleboarders!

Hawthorne Theatre (3862 SE Hawthorne, 233-7100) Look, kids—all-ages rock!

Holman's (15 SE 28th, 231-1093) Where else can you spin a wheel to get a free meal?

Holocene (1001 SE Morrison, 239-7639) Arty warehouse space packed with Portland's hippest.

Home Sweet Home (2824 N Lombard, 283-0274) A dive for old folks.

Horse Brass Pub (4534 SE Belmont, 232-2202) Like England! On Belmont!

Hungry Tiger (2800 E Burnside, 231-1234) If it's a bar fight you want, go here.

The Hutch (4606 NE Glisan, 235-4729) Cheap beer, shuffleboard, and pool.

Jake's Famous (401 SW 12th, 226-1419) Good happy-hour menu, expensive drinks.

Jax (826 SW 2nd, 228-9128) Home of the LumberJax—nice guys, though.

Jimmy Mak's (221 NW 10th, 295-6542) Great jazz, new building.

Jolly Roger (1340 SE 12th, 232-8060) Solid sports bar.

Kay's Bar & Grill (6903 SE Milwaukie, 232-4447) Trivia on Tuesdays. Good times.

Kell's (112 SW 2nd, 227-4057) Like Ireland! Sort of. Not really.

Kelly's Olympian (426 SW Washington, 228-3669) No scooters allowed.

Langano Lounge (1435 SE Hawthorne, 230-8990) Solid drinks, Ethiopian food.

LaurelThirst (2958 NE Glisan, 232-1504) Good food, drinks, pool tables.

Laurelwood (1728 NE 40th, 282-0622; 2327 NW Kearney, 228-5553) You'll feel like a jackass ordering them, but trust us: Macho Nachos.

Le Happy (1011 NW 16th, 226-1258) So... many... crepes....

Lovely Hula Hands (938 N Cook, 445-9910) Schmancy drinks in a vintage house.

Low Brow Lounge (1036 NW Hoyt, 226-0200) The best part of the Pearl.

Lucky Inn (440 NE 28th, 233-6937) Italian bar food.

Lucky Labrador (915 SE Hawthorne, 236-3555; 1925 NW Quimby, 517-4352) Your two best friends: beer and dogs.

Mac's Taproom (2730 NW 31st, 226-7623) Brewpubs are good for you.

Magic Gardens (217 NW 4th, 224-8472) Coziest strip club ever.

Marathon Taverna (1735 W Burnside, 224-1341) Personal pitchers.

Mary's Club (129 SW Broadway, 227-3023) The Portland strip club.

Mash Tun (2204 NE Alberta, 548-4491) Great food, patio, beer.

Matador (1967 W Burnside, 222-5822) Killer velvet paintings.

McFadden's (107 NW Couch, 220-5055) Irish chain—watch out, Kell's.

Mississippi Pizza Pub (3552 N Mississippi, 288-3231) Pizza, booze, live music.

Mississippi Station (3943 N Mississippi, 517-5751) Brand-spankin' new.

Mock Crest Tavern (3435 N Lombard St, 283-5014) Live music and a late night menu.

Montage/La Merde (301 SE Morrison, 234-1324) Foil swans are fun.

Moon & Sixpence (2014 NE 42nd, 288-7802) Dark British pub with a huge beer selection.

Muu-Muu's (612 NW 21st, 223-8169) Great for eating, drinking, and chillin' in style.

My Father's Place (523 SE Grand, 235-5494) Breakfast, all the time.

The Nest (1801 NE Alberta, 282-0230) Liquor drinks on Alberta, oh my!

New Old Lompoc (1616 NW 23rd, 225-1855) A well-loved NW bar with a huge patio.

Night Light Lounge (2100 SE Clinton, 731-6500) Neighborhood haunt with tons of board games.

No Fish Go Fish (3962 SE Hawthorne, 235-5378) Strip Jeopardy!

Noir (203 SE Grand, 231-2925) Basement bar, DJs.

O'Brien's (519 NW 21st, 223-5390) Slightly dilapidated, but great people, great patio.

O'Malleys (6535 SE Foster, 777-0495) Hippie meets punk meeting hall with tons of pool tables.

Oaks Bottom Public House (1621 SE Bybee, 232-1728) Great food, Lompoc beer.

Ole Ole Restaurant and Bar (1235 SW Jefferson, 478-0505) Restaurant and cantina goodness.

Outlaw's (772 E Burnside, 233-7855) Yee-haw.

Pala (105 NW 3rd, 242-0700) Fashion-riffic.

Paragon Club (815 N Killingsworth, 289-0888) Only the strong will survive the front gate, the smoke, the whiskey, and the regulars.

Paragon Restaurant (1309 NW Hoyt, 833-5060) Upscale drinkin'.

Pasta Bangs (3950 N Mississippi, 287-2782) Cushy booths.

Pogo's Taproom (6707 SE Milwaukie, 233-4220) Great karaoke, Fri-Sat.

Porky's Pub (835 N Lombard, 283-4663) Neat-o dive.

Press Club (2621 SE Clinton, 233-5656) Magazines, crêpes, wine.

Produce Row Café (204 SE Oak, 232-8355) We like patios. A lot.

Pshaw (825 N Killingsworth, 286-7070) Right.

The Pub at the End of the Universe (4107 SE 28th, 235-0969) Labyrinthine layout and plenty o' pool tables.

Red's Bar & Grill (7025 SE Foster, 788-7864) Ozzy might be blaring while you check out NASCAR shwag in this eclectic bar.

Rialto (529 SW 4th, 228-7605) Off-track bettin'!

Ringler's (1332 W Burnside, 225-0627) Pre-func for shows at the Crystal.

Ringler's Annex (1223 SW Stark, 525-0520) It's a triangle! Underground!

Rock Bottom (206 SW Morrison, 796-2739) There can never be too many breweries.

Roots Organic Brewery (1520 SE 7th, 235-7668) Drink up, vegan.

Rose & Thistle (2314 NE Broadway, 287-8582) Haggis!

Rose & Raindrop (532 SE Grand, 238-6996) Writerly, with a great beer selection.

Sabala's (4811 SE Hawthorne, 238-1646) Two-for-one happy hour!

Sagittarius (2710 N Killingsworth, 289-7557) Clean, with fancy cocktails.

Sam's Hollywood Billiards (1845 NE 41st, 282-8266) Self-explanatory.

Sandy Hut (1430 NE Sandy, 235-7972) AKA "The Slut." You know why.

Sapphire Hotel (5008 SE Hawthorne, 232-6333) A romantic vibe matches upscale drinks and snacks.

Sassy's (927 SE Morrison, 231-1606) Hooray for trough urinals!

Sauce Box (214 SW Broadway, 241-3393) You'll think you've died and gone to ironic T-shirt heaven!

Scandal's (1125 SW Stark, 227-5887) Scandalous!

Shanghai Tunnel (211 SW Ankeny, 220-4001) A good place to meet a vampire.

The Ship Tavern (7827 SW 35th, 244-7345) Good old dive bar.

Side Door (425 SE Washington, 233-8553) Beer and WiFi.

Side Street Tavern (828 SE 34th, 236-7999) Tater tots galore.

Silverado (1217 SW Stark, 224-4493) Free condoms! Enough said.

Slabtown (1033 NW 16th, 223-0099) Live music in NW? Rad.

Slim's (8635 N Lombard, 286-3854) The best/worst karaoke/dirty-dancing joint ever.

Slow Bar (533 SE Grand, 230-7767) Willamette Week: "If Ernest Hemingway had been gay, he would have loved Slow Bar." Wait—what?

Smokey's Tavern (5522 SE Foster, 774-6101) Tiny neighborhood bar that lives up to its name.

SoLo (1300 NW Lovejoy, 220-0080) Subterranean atmosphere and martinis.

Space Room (4800 SE Hawthorne, 235-8303) Like outer space! On Hawthorne!

Speakeasy Tavern (609 1/2 SE Taylor, 234-8991) A horseshoe-shaped bar and yummy sandwiches.

Suki's (2401 SW 4th, 226-1181) PSU karaoke.

Tennessee Red's (2133 SE 11th, 231-1710) More karaoke.

Thirst Wine Bar (315 SW Montgomery, 295-2747) The only thing grapes are good for is wine.

Thirsty Lion (71 SW 2nd, 222-2155) Soccer.

Tiger Bar (317 NW Broadway, 467-4111) Sadly, no actual tigers.

Tiny Bubble Room (2025 N Lombard, 289-9104) Chinese food, comfy bar stools, and lotsa smoke.

Tonic Lounge (3100 NE Sandy, 238-0543) Breakfast, lunch, dinner, rock.

Towne Lounge (714 SW 20th Pl, 241-8696) Follow the green light.

The Trap (3805 SE 52nd, 777-6009) Divey tavern plastered with Marilyn, Elvis, and soft-tips darts trophies.

Tube (18 NW 3rd, 241-8823) Great Monday night shows.

Twilight Café (1420 SE Powell, 236-0237) PBR tallboys for all!

U & I Tavern (6910 N Interstate, 289-3370) Pool, poker.

Union Jack's (938 E Burnside, 236-1125) Bring your singles!

Valentine's (232 SW Ankeny, 248-1613) Cute atmosphere, great sandwiches.

Vault (226 NW 12th Ave, 224-4909) Martinis are delicious.

Vendetta (4306 N Williams, 288-1085) This new North Portland hangout boasts a patio and shuffleboard.

Virginia Café (725 SW Park, 227-0033) Strong drinks, hot staff.

White Eagle (836 N Russell, 282-6810) Dim and woody McMenamins with a cheap hotel attached.

Wimpy's (519 NW 21st, 223-5153) Small, standard, sweet.

Wine Down on 28th (126 NE 28th, 236-9463) Wine, without the snobs.

Wishing Well (8800 N Lombard, 286-4434) Solid vodka tonics.

XV (15 SW 2nd, 790-9090) Sleek downtown bar with specialty drinks.

Yur's (717 NW 16th, 224-0160) Dark, great booths, attractive young folks.

Zaytoon (2236 NE Alberta, 284-1168) Stylishly lesbionic, with good food.