At this time of continuing polarity throughout America, isn't it about time that we all come together in laughter? Luckily, there's someone we can all agree on--our nation's ambassador of comedy, the irrepressible Neil Hamburger. Neil Hamburger warms up for Pinback this Saturday, November 20th at Bossanova.

Please state your name.

Neil Hamburger, "America's Funnyman." Please state your business.

Attempting to relieve people's emotional burdens through convulsive laughter, at a discounted price. Mr. Hamburger: what are your thoughts on the recent election?

It's very inspirational that someone who is a thoroughly substandard human being can achieve such success in life. You've experimented with both religious and blue humor--have you ever considered political jokes? Do you have any you'd like to try out on us?

I have dabbled in political humor. In fact, after years of trial-and-error in front of the bathroom mirror, I have finally perfected a whole Michael Dukakis/Lloyd Bentsen routine that I may just lay on you there in Portland. If this routine gets a warm response, it may one day replace my arsenal of General Westmoreland jokes. By my count, this is the second time you've been through Portland in the last year. How do you feel about the audiences here in Oregon?

These people have a lot of burdens they are facing, with some of the most hideous skin conditions that are communicable, and Osama Bin Laden, and that type of thing. So I am grateful that they take the time to come out and laugh their heads off. You're warming up for Pinback this time out--do those guys have a pretty good sense of humor?

I hope so. I don't want to get kicked off the bill. I have a lot of bills due this month, as a result of an electrical fire in my car that was caused when I was trying to cook up some minted peas using an electric wok run through the cigarette lighter plug. You're a seasoned veteran in this whole comedy game--how is the comedy climate in 2004?

It is horrible and they should all be ashamed. Are you going to put out a new record soon?

Yes, we are hopeful that in springtime, 2005, something will come out. It would be nice to win a Grammy this time, rather than simply clogging up the landfills as with my previous album. ZAC PENNINGTON