Dear Readers:

For those waiting on your favorite daily Blogtown feature, the non-award winning "Good Morning, News!", the sad truth of the matter is that today's GMN correspondent, Sarah Mirk, was too drunk and/or stoned to write it. Last night was the annual Mercury holiday office party, and the last time anyone saw her was around 1:30 am this morning, riding her fixie around Old Town topless, screaming, "Mama's got some big, juicy ta-ta's!"
Hopefully, she'll be along in a while to write her contractually obligated column. We apologize for the delay.


Wm. Steven Humphrey
Portland mercury