I used to scoff at the notion that Portland was "passive aggressive" like so many people say it is. To the contrary, I see a lot of plain old aggro douchebaggery every day. But then I noticed something: how completely shocked, dazed and offended these people were when I rattle them with my vehicle's puny, nonthreatening noisemaker.

If someone dings their bike bell, honks their horn or says "look out!", let me help interpret that for you: you are likely doing something stupid and are about to get squashed by a bus. Or worse, you're about to wipe out and cause me to get squashed by a bus.

It's nothing personal. And if you disagree with my ding, yonk or yell? Fine, you're entitled to your opinion. I've likely slowed down, moved over or done whatever I can do to avoid your lack of skills and / or situational awareness.

But please don't confront me at the next traffic signal and start screaming like a possessed yuppie demon, blathering on about how you're "safe" and a "good driver" or "a responsible cyclist" or whatever. You sound psychotic, and psychos often don't make the best roadway users.