• MACGYVER A hero.

Okay, so maybe it won't be crappy—but hiring the director who's to blame for Saw doesn't inspire a lot of confidence. Unless... are they turning MacGyver into a wisecrackin' genius whose witty contraptions GRUESOMELY AND GRAPHICALLY TORTURE PEOPLE?

New Line is cobbling together its MacGyver movie, entering talks with James Wan after the director's supernatural horror pic The Conjuring pleased studio brass.

The 1980s TV series starring Richard Dean Anderson followed Angus MacGyver, an agent of the fictional Phoenix Foundation. MacGyver never carried a gun, using his wits and whatever was lying around to fight criminals.

No plot details have emerged for the script that Jason Richman drafted and was most recently worked over by Brian and Mark Gunn. Whether Anderson would be involved is not known. (Via.)

Wait, what was that?

Whether Anderson would be involved is not known.

Wait. WHAT?

Whether Anderson would be involved is not known.

Richard Dean Anderson IS MacGyver, and anyone who says otherwise is a goddamn liar. (Or they're the excellently named—but still wrong—MacGyver creator Lee Zlotoff, who can't take a joke.) If there was ever a reason to use motion capture technology or CG de-aging techniques or puppets or whatever, this is it. Creepy Fake Jeff Bridges in Tron Legacy can go straight to hell: Let's get Weta and Richard Dean Anderson in the same room and call Andy Serkis or something, he knows how it works. If he wants to he can even be a monkey in it or whatever, I don't know. Anyway, what's really important is that if this is going to happen, let's bring back MacGyver the way he was meant to be: virile and strong, his smile glimmering in the sun, his hair ruffling in the breeze. Also, might I suggest any of these adventures as possible jumping-off points for the film? Or perhaps the classic adventure "Blow Out" (Dec 21, 1987). Maybe Andy Serkis could play the old lady in this scene!

Or they could just make MacGruber 2. Yeah. They should probably just do that.