You: dude who works at @ [BUSINESS NAME REDACTED—editor] store. Mustashed, dress like a overall typical pdx douchebag.
When you are on your break or done for the day, you venture out and hit up all the free samples of food at anywhere within 2 miles radius or so.
This, is all understandable and fucking-a right. What isn't though is showcasing your ruddy duds and PRETENDING to be a customer. Your little act isn't fooling a soul. You look like such a moochy/moody little bitch that needs a slap.

Me: see your every dumb move...

Keep it up and I'll come into your store and start making food deposits in the changing room. Then we will be somewhat equal.

Oh and you look like a Hungarian version of Gallager if that helps more...,,