Fetish Circus

So, what are you into? Does it involve whips, showers, piercing, binding, gagging, or clowns? If so, you will positively die if you miss Cirque de Fetiche, the hugest fetish event of the year!

Serious players won't mind forking over the dough for V.I.P tix to get into Friday's V.I.Pervert pre-party (which naturally includes fetishy visuals and a chance to hobnob with the kings and queens of the freaky underground). But Saturday's main event is a mind-blowing pervapalooza with famed dominatrixes like L.A.'s Mistress Persephone; classy, dungeon-appropriate live music by Spanking Machine; DJs Allen (from the Torture Garden UK) and local deviants Carrion and Lord Spanky. Meanwhile, sexy models will vamp around in corsets and sundry shiny designer gear, while daringly dressed revelers compete in costume contests.

If that's not enough to wet your whistle, there's also a Human Petting Zoo (raaawr!), circus performers, kinky carnival games, body modification performances, and a fire show! Jeezum.

If you've any energy left on Sunday, head to the Vendor's Bizarre Bizarre, where you can meet the makers and models and, most importantly, find something fabulous to wear to the next huge fetish formal! MS

Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside, Saturday September 20, 9 pm, $25-30, $60-75 VIP; See www.pdxfetishball.com for info on pre-party and vendor's Bizarre at Ascension, 5224 SE Foster, 3pm, free

Hut, Hut, Hike!

On the first play of their season, Central Catholic's hotshot quarterback pulled out the old "Smoke and Go," a razzle dazzle play that left their Grants Pass opponents stupefied. QB Kyle Moore lateraled to his tight end who, in turn, whipped the ball off for a 58-yard touchdown. And so began the rout! 47-19. Ouch! Throughout the game, the Grants Pass Cavemen played the dupes for Central's trick plays, explosive quarterback Kyle Moore, and relentless running back Johnny Parker.

Yes, fall means back to school and back to school means football, flasks in the stands, and making out underneath the bleachers. The season is in full swing with games under Friday night's bright lights around the city, including tonight's battle at PGE Park between Central and Sandy.

Kyle Moore is the senior quarterback for Central. In his first game, he cannoned nearly 200 yards in passing and two touchdown tosses. Then, in the third quarter, when his receivers were covered, he busted through the front line and sprinted 54 yards for another touchdown. As the scouts say, he is one to watch.

Tonight, the Central Catholic Rams square off against Sandy, whose punishing defense may be the only hope to slow up Moore. PHIL BUSSE

PGE Park, 1844 SW Morrison, 224-4400, Friday, September 19, kick-off at 7:30 pm, $4

OT: Our Town

Let's get one thing straight: Our Town is a boring-ass play written by Thornton Wilder about a small town in the 1930s (ZZZZZ). But OT: Our Town is a shimmering quilt of a documentary, spanning a few months in the lives of a ragtag group of kids trying to put on a play in an artistically destitute, gang-addled high school in Compton. Completely inexperienced in theater, and lacking a performance venue, the students and their impassioned director Catherine Borek manage to stage a single production of Our Town in the school cafeteria. In the impoverished, dangerous world of central Los Angeles, it's a monumental achievement.

Filmmaker Scott Hamilton Kennedy's camera is quick, his editing resourceful. In less than 80 minutes he acquaints you so intimately with the huge cast of youngsters that by the end you fret over their performance like a nervous parent. This alone makes OT worth including in the coveted "Destination Fun" slot, and though you may be tempted to pass on it because of those terrifyingly boring words, "Our Town"; don't. Ignore them, and focus on the letters and what they stand for. OT: Ostentatiously Terrific. JUSTIN WESCOAT SANDERS III

Clinton Street Theater, 2512 SE Clinton, 238-8899, 7 & 9 pm, through September 25, $6

Glammy Booty

The presence of the Time-Based Arts Festival is scattering all these really cool mini-performance art events across our utterly rejuvenated city. Tonight is one of those; as if Holocene's regular electro/booty bass night, Guilty, wasn't already one of the consistently best dance nights in town, the TBA Fest has upped the ante. Along with Dr. Giggles spinning a salacious selection of ass-jigglin', bell-ring-alin' booty and Miami breaks, local artist Hundreds of Dismembered Handbags will perform his trashy, glammy drag electro (which calls to mind artists like Peaches and Hedwig's Stephen Trask). Last but not least, it's Crutchmaster--the rippin' b-boying performance artist who uses his crutches with the same fluid flowmotion as a boogie board! He'll bring along his DJ to spin hiphop and flex his funk. Even if you're not a regular freak on the dancefloor, it'd be ridiculous to miss this one. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

Guilty: Dr. Giggles, Hundreds of Dismembered Handbags, The Crutchmaster & DJ, and totally badassical DJ Rob Uptight; Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison, Friday, Sept 19, 239-7639, 10 pm, a ludicrously cheap $4