Between his day job helping people pick out clothes at the Red Light and DJing parties, Makeout (AKA Abner) gets to see and be seen all the time. And word on the street is that he's got some pretty fly tastes, so do this:

- DO wear black boots if you're a man: "Invest in a couple of really nice pairs, the kind that zip on the side."

- DO look beyond magazine editorial spreads: "Fashion can be found everywhere, especially in art, industrial design, and that drunken night at the dive bar."

- DO have dress-up parties: "Especially after the bar closes. It's fun for everyone involvedÉ trust me on this."

- DO ask for help: "Whether it's Nordstrom, Seaplane, or The Red Light, people who work in retail shops have more originality than that Queer Eye for the Straight Guy shit."

- DO wear Levi's reproduction "vintage" jeans: "Buying the original stuff is better of course, but the Seven's, Diesel's, and Paper's of the world wish they could be as good."

DeeJay Teenage

Teenage (AKA Nathaniel) has quite a few opinions on fashion, most of which he probably culled from his vantage behind the decks. And it's true--he gets to see people at their best and, sometimes when the light comes on, their worst:

- DON'T wear legwarmers: "They're fucking ignorant. It's not 1982, and it's not 1972."

- DON'T put a bandana in your back pocket: "Unless you actually expect to do any manual labor and wipe your brow. (If you're a headbanger, then it's okay to wear one on your head.)"

- DON'T wear a climber clip key chain: "Are you a climber? Have you ever been on a mountain? No."

- DON'T get a New Wave/Ron Wood haircut: "It's not art, it's a haircut. I like Ron Wood haircuts on Ron Wood, but you're not Ron Wood."

- DON'T buy turntables: "Every fucking retard in town is now a DJ. Make a better fashion decision and buy a pair of $300 shoes."