THE THING He fights aliens with his beard!

Albert Nobbs
Albert Nobbs is Glenn Close's baby. After playing the titular character onstage, and putting in decades of effort, the odd little tale of a 19th century Irish woman passing as a man has finally arrived onscreen. As a showpiece for Close's ability to nail Nobbs' every nuance, it's unimpeachable. With the help of some cosmetic prostheses, Close is clearly well studied as the quiet, irreparably repressed, fearful, and miserable character. Outside of her technical proficiencies, however, the film only winks at its opportunities to satisfyingly engage with the complex social history roiling just underneath its surface. MARJORIE SKINNER Various Theaters.

B-Movie Bingo
A screening of 1992's Angel of Fury, with special-made bingo cards so you can spot the B-movie clichés. Hollywood Theatre.

Beer and Movie Festival
See Film, this issue. Academy Theater.

Big Miracle
See review this issue. Various Theaters.

See review this issue. Various Theaters.

Did You Kiss Anyone?
Surprisingly polished for a local, low-budget offering, Did You Kiss Anyone? begins with an affectionate look at a long-term relationship and ends at a furry sex party in Estacada. A married Portland couple decides to permit themselves one night only to sleep around outside their marriage; even as their parallel sex-quests get rompy and ridiculous, the characters remain grounded and believable. ALISON HALLETT Filmakers in attendance. Bagdad Theater.

recommended An Evening With Don Hertzfeldt
See My, What a Busy Week! Director in attendance Hollywood Theatre.

Fight Life
See review this issue. Director in attendance for screenings on Friday and Saturday. Clinton Street Theater.

The Grey
When it comes to action movies, there's a thin, sinewy line between awesome and ridiculous, with the deciding factor often being the filmmaker's refusal to blink. The Grey, the latest contribution to the halls of gonad cinema from director Joe Carnahan, is a brawny, often majestic survivalist saga that can't quite work up the resolve to let its images drive the story. Although the primal force of its central conflict is something to behold—when it's cooking, it's the most compelling man vs. nature movie since William Friedkin's Sorcerer—it ultimately ends up feeling rather self-conscious about its own two-fisted bleakness. ANDREW WRIGHT Various Theaters.

recommended Haywire
Steven Soderbergh's latest, starring MMA fighter Gina Carano, is a welcome dose of the lean, stylish, kinetic excitement that good action movies are made of. ERIK HENRIKSEN Various Theaters.

The Innkeepers
See review this issue. Hollywood Theatre.

Man on a Ledge
Within the first 90 seconds of Man on a Ledge, Man (Sam Worthington) gets onto a Ledge (a great star turn by Ledge). Ten seconds later, Man threatens to jump off Ledge, the music gets fast, and you are supposed to wonder, "OMG! WILL HE JUMP??" If you are a person who actually wonders that, to you I say: Whoa. Have you never seen a movie before? Seriously, he's not gonna jump right away! If he did, Man would not be on Ledge and the movie would be over. The movie is about a Man on a Ledge. That really could not be any clearer. But is the Man/Ledge relationship merely a distraction from... something more sinister? Like some sort of heist? You'll have to watch the movie to find out!! Ha ha, just kidding. Just watch the first three minutes to find out. ELINOR JONES Various Theaters.

One for the Money
I am reviewing this movie at my mom's request. She, like so many moms, loves the Janet Evanovich books on which this movie is based. I'm sorry, Mom, but this movie blows. Katherine Heigl is blamed for a lot of things sucking, and this film is no exception: As the protagonist, Jersey girl Stephanie Plum, Heigl flails from Hardened Tough Girl With a Gun to Silly Lovesick/Shoe-sick Lady as often as a character in this film is brutally murdered (which is really goddamned often for a breezy comedy). Heigl's grating Jersey accent sounds like somebody's lame uncle doing a horrible Tony Soprano, making her lazy voiceover into a dare for the audience to try and root for her less and less as the movie grinds on. Watching this movie is like somebody pressing on a bruise for two hours: not the most painful thing ever, but still crappy. Moms deserve better. ELINOR JONES Various Theaters.

Paul Goodman Changed My Life
A documentary about writer Paul Goodman. Living Room Theaters.

Paul McCartney: The Love We Make
Because our parents' generation cannot fucking get enough Paul McCartney, here's Albert Maysles and Bradley Kaplan's documentary, which follows the Peppiest Beatle™ "through the streets of New York City in the immediate aftermath of the 9/11 attacks as he organizes an all-star benefit concert." Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium.

recommended Rockaday Ritchie and the Queen of the Hop
Director George Hood's 1975 film (first released as Stark Raving Mad), made in the Pacific Northwest and "based on the true events about a killing spree conducted in the Midwest in 1958 by a couple on the run"—the same events that inspired Terrence Malick's Badlands. Director in attendance. Northwest Film Center's Whitsell Auditorium.

Rural Route Film Festival
Works from the Rural Route Film Festival, a fest that "was created to highlight works that deal with rural people and places." More info: Fifth Avenue Cinema.

recommended A Separation
See review this issue. Fox Tower 10.

recommended The Thing (1982)
John Carpenter's classic, starring a very hairy Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, and an exploding dog head. Highly recommended, obviously. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Woman in Black
See review this issue. Various Theaters.

Young Goethe in Love
Falling somewhere between Shakespeare In Love and Marie Antoinette, Young Goethe in Love is one of those fun period pieces where the women are boldly unbridled and the men totally love that. Young German writer Goethe (Alexander Fehling) rides around in mustard-color pants looking like a 1700s Health Ledger; he tries to woo Emma Watson look-alike Charlotte (Miriam Stein), but alas! The lady is engaged! This love story from Goethe's early years supposedly inspired his novel The Sorrows of Young Werther, a tender tale that, upon its initial release, inspired a rash of young poet suicides. True story. SUZETTE "THE INTERN" SMITH Living Room Theaters.