BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA Kurt Russell. John Carpenter. Heroes.

Imagine, if you will, a screwball romantic comedy starring Tina Fey and Paul Rudd, America's sweethearts. It would be madcap! A romp! Zingers would zing, opposites would attract, and bespectacled brunettes nationwide would wallow in the satisfaction of seeing one of our own smooch Josh from Clueless. (Suck it, Silverstone!) But alas, there's not that much fun to be had in the new Fey/Rudd teamup Admission, directed with ponderous good intentions by Paul Weitz (About a Boy). Admission is overstuffed and clumsy, and though it takes a running leap toward madcap romcom fun, it misses by a wide margin. ALISON HALLETT Various Theaters.

Anderson & Fisher
Films from Los Angeles filmmakers Thom Andersen and Morgan Fisher, presented by Yale Union. Directors in attendance. More info: Hollywood Theatre.

B-Movie Bingo
The Hollywood's series features B-movies, with the audience marking down clichés on a custom-made bingo card. This time around: RoboCop 2. Hollywood Theatre.

recommended Barbara Stanwyck: The Miracle Woman
A Barbara Stanwyck retrospective that's as much a showcase for the actress' immensely likeable screen persona as it is a survey of the workmanlike genres from Hollywood's golden age. For more info, see "Ball of Fire" [Film, Wed March 13] and NED LANNAMANN Whitsell Auditorium.

recommended Batman
"Never rub another man's rhubarb." Laurelhurst Theater.

recommended Big Trouble in Little China
See My, What a Busy Week! Hollywood Theatre.

Drawing Dead
See review. Whitsell Auditorium

The Faux Film Festival
The Faux Film Festival returns with its usual shtick of "faux commercials, faux trailers, spoofs, satires, parodies, and mockumentaries." More info: Clinton Street Theater.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation
See Film. Various Theaters.

Ginger & Rosa
Two girls (Elle Fanning and newcomer Alice Englert) overly concerned with the nuclear threat come of age in 1960s Britain. Friendships are tested as ideas diverge, and Ginger's skeevy dad takes a liking to Rosa. A slow burn that's both effective and maddening, with a melodramatic finish that shows how hard it is to grow up when the adults in your life never have. JAMIE S. RICH Fox Tower 10.

The Host
A sci-fi romance based on the book by Twilight author/ abstinence advocate Stephenie Meyer. It was not screened for critics. FUCK IS UP WITH THAT, STEPH? WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF? Various Theaters.

Les Misérables
It's like Trapped in the Closet for white people who aren't in on the joke. ALISON HALLETT 99W Twin Indoor Cinema, Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood Theatre.

Love and Honor
A not-screened-for-critics drama starring Liam Hemsworth, who is not as good as Chris Hemsworth. Laurelhurst Theater.

recommended M
A new digital restoration of M, the landmark noir from German director Fritz Lang. From the unprecedented sound design, including intentional silences and off-screen sounds, to Peter Lorre's bug-eyed turn as a serial killer who can't understand or control his urges, M's influence ripples perceptibly right into the present day. Whether you've never seen it, or it's just been too long, this clear-as-bell digital restoration is reason enough to revisit. MARJORIE SKINNER Cinema 21.

"Mental reunites writer-director P.J. Hogan with his original leading lady Toni Collette for the first time since Muriel's Wedding." Someone... someone must be excited about that, right? Somewhere? Living Room Theaters.

recommended The Night of the Hunter
A weird, weird movie from 1955 that's part gothic horror, part religious drama, part plucky children's adventure story, and part musical (boy, do these characters sing a lot). Robert Mitchum commands the screen as a crazy preacher chasing after two kids who are holding a stack of stolen money, chasing them through surreal, Cabinet of Dr. Caligari sets with harsh, spare, angular lighting. This was actor Charles Laughton's only foray into directing; he figured that artifice would be creepier than realism, and the gamble pays off. NED LANNAMANN Cinema 21.

Olympus Has Fallen
The best Die Hard movie released so far this year, the casually brutal Olympus Has Fallen kicks into gear when eeevil North Koreans fly a gunship over Washington, DC, and start shooting all of the people and Washington Monuments they can find! Within moments, bullets are tearing holes through American flags and chunks of Washington Monument are crushing tourists. And the White House... well, the White House is fucked. So mopey Secret Service Agent Gerard Butler stops moping and starts shooting. He also uses a bust of Abraham Lincoln to smash a bad guy's head in. U-S-A! U-S-A! ERIK HENRIKSEN Various Theaters.

recommended Spring Breakers
Here are some of the problems you may have with director Harmony Korine's already infamous Spring Breakers: (1) The young college gals depicted in the film invite degradation upon themselves with voracious, proud abandon. (2) Plotwise, there's probably less here than meets the eye. And perhaps most importantly, (3) Spring Breakers may make you come to the sudden, surprising realization you have a big stick up your ass. This is one hell of a polarizing film, and I'll say right now that, as someone who's sick of stale, predictable Hollywood product, I loved it. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY Various Theaters.

Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor
This is a Tyler Perry movie that features Kim Kardashian. So that's... wow. Yeah. That's a whole lot of awful. They didn't even bother telling critics this thing existed! Various Theaters.

Upside Down
A not-screened-for-critics sci-fi romance starring Kirsten Dunst. UGH. KIRSTEN DUNST. The worst. Fox Tower 10.

recommended War Witch
See review. Living Room Theaters.