SUCCESSFUL NEW COLUMN!

SOUND OFF, AMERICAN!

It's official! America loves SOUND OFF, AMERICAN!, the new column that gives you, Joe or Jane American, the opportunity to "sound off" about the weighty issues of our times. Every week, we pose a question that's been weighing heavily on the minds of Americans. Your job is to simply email us back with your response. It's that easy!

Last Week's Question: Would you rather watch your mom tongue-kiss George W. Bush, OR eat an entire egg salad sandwich that had been drooled on by all the members of Bon Jovi?

The Results: Eat drooled on sandwich? 14% Watch Mom tongue-kiss George W? 86%

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION

Which would you rather do: Watch a two-hour narrated slide show of your grandparents making love, OR or have a microchip implanted in your ear for two days that constantly plays 'N Sync's version of "O Holy Night"?

Grandparents doing it? Email us at:sexyslideshow@portlandmercury.com
'N Sync 'N your ear? Email us at: microchip@portlandmercury.com