Portland's newest, fancy-pants boutique hotel, the Nines, has opened in what was once the downtown Meier & Frank building. But you don't wanna hear about the $249-a-night rooms. No, you wanna know how cheap the happy hour is at the hotel's fancy-pants restaurant/bar Urban Farmer. The answer is: very cheap, with a few catches.

Urban Farmer, located in the architecturally ambitious atrium of the boutique hotel, could lead to a certain amount of vertigo. It's the airy, creamy filling in the center of the old building, and the rooms rise around the courtyard for six floors or so. The skylight allows plenty of natural light, but also leads to a fair amount of neck fatigue from taking in the scene.

Still, you feel nearly alfresco as you scarf down your Wagyu beef slider cylinder at $4 or easily slurpable oysters for $1. Mixed nuts, tater tots, and sea salt potato chips round out the happy hour menu that includes a Mason jar of margarita-like moonshine punch for $3, and a surprise barman's martini for $2.50.

Now the catch: Happy hour is served only at the bar and the communal table, for a total of about 28 seats. Get there early and stay late. It's the cheapest schmancy faux alfresco drunk you're likely to ever have.