I could hardly believe my eyes when you pulled your car up on the wrong side of the road next to my fruit tree like you were parking. But instead of parking you reached over and pulled at least two Asian pears off our tree. I could clearly see you taking something that wasn't yours. Just because the fruit is something that literally grows on trees doesn't make it free. So when I asked you, "Are you stealing my fruit?" you could have just said yes. But instead you told me that because the branches were hanging out over the street that they were fair game. I even told you that if you had asked to try one of them, it would have been okay. However, rather than apologize, you just drove off in a huff. Now I have to worry that some pissed-off thief will cut down our fruit trees just because they can't handle being called the thief they are. Oh well. I hope you hate the Asian pears. I'm sure you will because they won't be ready for a couple of months. Right now they're small and woody like your horrible little heart.—Anonymous