Dear chocolate lab with the cool vest at Salt & Straw: I am truly sorry that I stepped on your tail as I tried to squeeze past you tonight. You seem like a classy, polite dog. I'm sure it wasn't your idea to stand in a sloppy line of oblivious suburbanites blocking a busy sidewalk on NE Alberta. Your owner said that, because you are a service animal, stepping on your tail was like stepping on her. I didn't mean to step on either of you! In fact I try to make a point of not stepping on dogs' tails—even dogs that aren't wearing service animal vests. I just hope that, once you got to the head of the line, you got some artisanal ice cream out of the deal. Again, sorry about the tail... and sorry you have to work for such a clueless yuppie.—Anonymous
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