There's nothing quite as obnoxious as someone in the back of the bus playing an acoustic guitar, strumming away and only singing fragments of songs because they can't remember the lyrics. They think they're Jack fucking Johnson, and they end up looking like the smuggest douchebag in Portland. I would rather have a masturbating bum next to me than you. It only gets worse when they open that big mouth of theirs to everyone within earshot about how great a musician they are, and how their cousin is in the philharmonic. You made my day though, random TriMet jerkoff. When I publicly called you out on your shit while you were bragging about playing 22 instruments, you and the idiots you were talking to went silent for the rest of the bus ride, with you occasionally telling people next to you about how you don't care, and how that didn't make you mad. Don't worry, you can nurse your giant ego on the next bus ride where you surround yourself with gullible idiots who buy your shit. Right after you sign that record deal you bragged about in LA. Scum like you belong in the common hall of a college dorm, where I won't get thrown off TriMet for smashing your guitar. —Anonymous