Illustration by Kalah Allen

To the pieces of shit that left a unique surprise in the hotel room for me to clean up twice in one week: It was such a nice surprise to walk into your dirty, vacant room and see a used condom lying lifeless on the floor, filled with your baby soup. Is there a big fucking neon sign hanging somewhere in the room that says "PLEASE DROP USED CONDOMS ON FLOOR" that I'm not aware of, or did I just miss the memo? Because it seems like more and more people are finding it socially acceptable to do this. Either way, it's fucking disgusting. I know people get tired out after sex, but if you're too tired to walk to the trashcan, set the trash next to the bed beforehand. OR, here's an idea... pick it up later and toss it out! The floor is not your personal dumping ground for everything foul. This may be acceptable at the crack motel by the railroad tracks, but not at a higher end hotel. I've seen some unpleasant things in hotel rooms, but this tops it. Next time, why don't you just shit on the floor, because that would be less gross.—Anonymous