What follows is my personal recipe for the famous backyard entree, "Beer in the Butt Chicken," and while some may think this is a veiled joke aimed at Gay Pride week--it's not. If it were, I'd call the recipe "Beer in the Butt Gay Person."

As we all know, backyard grilling is one part skill and two parts theater. And for those ready to take the plunge, "Beer in the Butt Chicken" is like playing Hamlet. The plot: "A seasoned whole chicken gets a can of beer shoved up its ass, and as it slowly cooks on the grill, is infused with the savory moisture, emerging as the most tender, succulent bird ever eaten." Interested? You bet your ass. Let's bring up the curtain.

Ingredients: One whole chicken, olive oil, lemon, basil, a bunch of garlic cloves, cayenne pepper, paprika, salt and pepper, and three Pabst Blue Ribbon 16-oz. tallboys.

Let's Get Cookin'!

1. Drink two of the PBR tallboys. You are now in the correct frame of mind to face the task that follows. Drink only 1/4 of the remaining beer, and set aside.

2. Prepare the chicken. After trimming off the excess fat, rub that chicken down like it was a shirtless Matt Damon. (But instead of using lotion, concoct a rub using olive oil, lemon, basil, lots o' crushed garlic, cayenne, paprika, salt and pepper.)

3. Using a can opener, take off the top of that remaining PBR, and drop in the remaining crushed garlic and lemon.

4. Here's the fun part! Lube up the can with olive oil, penetrate the hole, and slip that chicken right on top of it. (Sexy, no?) You might need to tuck the legs underneath, but the point is to get the bird standing vertically on the grill.

5. Cover and cook. If the chicken is too tall, stick a stew pot on top of it. Depending on the size of your bird, grilling could take up to two hours. Internal temperature should be 160 degrees, or wait for the skin on the wings to turn clear. Remove the can, promise you'll call the bird in the morning, and eat. WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY