TO THE EDITORS: Am I missing something about the Portland Beavers ["Risky Business," News, May 21]? Why for God's sake would anyone want to spend millions of dollars on a new baseball stadium? I don't care if the stadium is in Lents, the Rose Quarter, or Cascade Station—whoever says this project will bring millions of dollars to the city is smoking some serious crack. Save millions by building some extra bleachers at Wallace Park and move the Beavers there. They still won't sell that out.
FUELING OUR NOTORIETY
DEAR MERCURY: Mr. Freedom was right [Letters, May 21]: Attention is what "Miss California" gets as a result of sloppy interviewer response to her homophobic attitude. It's what I like to call the Paris Hilton Principle—that any attention fuels fame. But Mr. Freedom is only fueling the notoriety of Ann Romano and Perez Hilton by bashing them. And I am now adding to his popularity by calling him out on it. Attention is energy. And with times as ripe with potential as they are right about now, I'm (not) just sayin'.
THE JOY OF SAME-SEX SPEECH
TO THE MERCURY: Mr. Freedom is clearly very angry. But does he really think logic will win opponents of gay marriage over? I'm going to go ahead and assert that for folks who value one sentence of an ancient text over the human rights of others—logic is not their strong suit. The argument for gay marriage has been put forth logically and persuasively by many, many people. If the rants of an overweight gossip blogger (Perez, not Ann) are what end up keeping the civil right of gays in the last century, I'll be very surprised. If the Christians can tell me I'm going to hell for living with my boyfriend before we're married, then I get to tell them that their religion is backward and hateful. That's the joy of free speech.
THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!
TO MR. FREEDOM: First of all, don't mess with Ann Romano. Period. One Day at a Time is at this point the one and (sorry guys) only consistent source of witty, sassy, social commentary in the entire paper. SECONDLY: The point you are trying to make, Mr. Freedom, is so utterly bullshit that it almost shouldn't be dignified with a response. "Perez Hilton could have said [to Miss California], 'I disagree, but I'd like to sit down with you and talk about what it is you feel...'"?! I am consistently amazed and irritated by people who cannot recognize simple themes like... oh... say... sarcasm and hyperbole. Humor is an art form, and a very important one to those of us who HAVE a sense of humor. I could go on about the fact that smart, funny writing is an infinitely better tool for reaching the masses than your stuffy case-management-speak, but back to my original point: I don't particularly give two shits about Perez Hilton, but NOBODY calls Ann Romano a "dumbfuck" or (worse) a "dipshit." Not in this town. Not unless you're itchin' for a fight.
Mr. Simon Jaynes
CONGRATULATIONS TO SIMON for not only winning the Mercury letter of the week, but for being one of the few men in this goddamn town with a smidge of gallantry. (Sigh! Simon's so dreamy!) He'll be enjoying a pair of Laurelhurst tix, and a lunch at No Fish! Go Fish! where chivalry and good eats are their specialty.
DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS
In last week's news story "Kroger vs. Racist Smog Monsters," the Mercury wrote that Attorney General John Kroger had missed appearing on Jo Ann Bowman's radio show because "he got caught on a call with his wedding planner." In actuality, Kroger does not have a wedding planner—though he was delayed because of a phone call in which he was planning his wedding. A minor but important distinction, and the Mercury regrets the misunderstanding.