RE: One Day at a Time [April 8], in which columnist Ann Romano comments on the Twitter kerfuffle that erupted after comedian Trevor Noah was named Jon Stewart's successor on The Daily Show.
DEAR MERCURY—If Twitter were an "actual" person, it would be a power-drunk monster. Assuming the authority to proclaim what can and cannot be said, or what statements have been "justifiably called out" is gross. In today's niche-cause outrage culture, a "callout" skips the hard work of building a bridge of understanding through communication, empathy, and often attempts at humor, which is an inherently subjective concept. Free speech is beautiful, [and] being offended hands away your personal power to anyone who says the wrong magic words.
DEAR MERCURY—I am a Jewish person, and I am infinitely more offended at your booing Noah than his tweets. Musicians being exploited by record labels? Lots of successful Jews in the music industry? Nothing factually incorrect about these notions. People need to chill the fuck out and laugh at life, and resist the political correctness Gestapo that's got Portland in a perpetual state of being offended. In the article, you condemn this sort of social shaming, but are just as guilty of it as the needle-dick tweeters who are so brave in taking a public stance against racism, sexism, assault, or whatever the flavor of the fucking offended week is.
RE: "Violators Will Be Prosecuted" [News, April 1], regarding changing policies that address the enforcement of restraining orders.
DEAR MERCURY—I find it absolutely disgusting that the city will have a sting on Ladd's Circle's roundabout to bust cars and bicyclists not stopping at a stop sign to appease the old, white, cranky, influential residents, yet only investigate 10 percent of violations of restraining orders.
RE: This city and how dangerous and expensive and just generally going straight down the drain it is.
DEAR MERCURY—About a month ago, I got mugged in North Portland. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, when I saw a guy dash for me out of the corner of my eye. He tried to get my purse, but since I held on to it, he knocked me down to the ground and pulled me at least five feet until my purse chain broke and everything spilled out of it as he booked it into the dark. People told me to call the cops, but it seemed worthless because there was no one outside to witness this, and all I could explain was "a black guy in a gray hoodie." So I let it go. Until tonight. My friend and I decided to go to Dig a Pony, a place were I have gone since I turned 21 (I am 24 right now) [and] one of the spots that we regularly go. Tonight someone stole my wallet out of my bag while I was dancing. How scummy do you have to be to do this shit?????? Portland has been the city of trust. What has this city become? Another fucking New York City, where it's okay to mug people and steal? Another city that's going down the drain??? Should we allow this to happen, or should we take back the control? I wanted to bash everyone's eye out. But I couldn't. Also, it would seem kinda silly for me to do that. I usually wouldn't have bothered to try to speak out, but this has gone too far. I want everyone to be aware of the fact that our once pure city has turned into one full of scumbags, and that girls should be aware of their bags, their purses! Because this city is no longer a safe haven, as it was before.
Slabtown met the Slab
The Matador was gored
Stumptown that won my heart
No one I know can now afford
Portland is dead, long live San Francisco.
THAT'S HILARIOUS, ROB. Good luck in San Francisco! You get two free tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where you can similarly see the fantasies that live in your imagination... on the big screen!