U SUCK

WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY—Sandra rocks ["I Dislike You, Sandra Bullock!" I Love Television, March 4]!! She does not have a mustache. She has accomplished more in her life then u have. All u do is write stupid columns in a free paper. Get over yourself.

-Amy Brown

NO COMPLAINTS

I Anon wrote, "at least my lies were more interesting..." ["A Challenge," I, Anonymous, March 11]. Let readers be the judge of that. Your dog switcheroo one was boring and totally uninspired ["Doggy Do-Over," I, Anonymous, Feb 11]. If that's any indication of your style, I'll bet you also wrote at least one of the recent bodily fluid-revenge ones, which in my personal opinion were juvenile and predictable. This longtime reader disagrees that the column has to be about "Portland's wildest secrets." That only invites embellishment and outright lying—and even then, no real imagination. They say there's a time and a place for everything. This column is one place where complaining and "venting" are fully appropriate. This doesn't mean it always has to include those things, but you can bet that when it does, it seems like some people inevitably respond with complaints about the "bitching." Feeble, repetitive bitching about other people's bitching—kind of hypocritical.

-posted by geyser on portlandmercury.com

PAINT JOB

Sarah [Mirk], please don't repeat the PR consultant-created lie that the new design [of the Columbia River Crossing] is a 10-lane bridge ["Riding the Gravy Train," News, March 11]. It's a 12-lane bridge painted to be 10 lanes, so they can wait until the political pressure is there and repaint it to 12 lanes.

-posted by No CRC on portlandmercury.com

SEX AND CONFUSION

There was an underlying point to this that at least some of you are grasping ["Portland's Sexiest People," Feature, March 11]. And yes, naturally they are a couple of white hipster/hippies (whatever), which is hardly shocking considering the publication. Basically I see hundreds of people that resemble them every week... stupid little bearded guys, chicks with bobs and funny clothes—c'est la vie, no? Either way I think they are representative of Portland (good or bad) and I think even one of them is ACTUALLY FROM HERE! No way! However [previous commenter] "Burtles," your assertion that everyone in Portland "is healthy, natural, happy, and UNPRETENTIOUS" is either one of the most ironically funny statements of all time or you are confused. I would love to know what areas of our fair town you frequent (I pretty much know already), purely from a cultural anthropology standpoint of course.

-posted by The Showstopper on portlandmercury.com

MILLION-DOLLAR IDEAS

I'd like to raise a peep about the bike plan by reiterating my previous comment—WTF ["Bottoming Out," Hall Monitor, March 11]?!? Six hundred million dollars? Did Dr. Evil come up with that sum? Can we not make biking more accessible to Portlanders for LESS than $600 million? Or is $300 million earmarked for consultants, à la CRC [Columbia River Crossing] budgeting genius? It's like a bad joke—I'm just waiting for someone to say "Gotcha! We really only need $20 million, but we knew no one would go for it, so we started out with $600 million." But even then I'd say, "WTF?!? Twenty million for a bike plan?"

-posted by nibbler83 on portlandmercury.com

WTF INDEED, nibbler83, W... T... F... indeed. For pointing out the importance of questioning government spending, you win letter of the week and, with it, two passes to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where eating the food will make you feel like a million bucks.