TO THE EDITOR: Regarding Gabrielle Holzemer's response to the "Portland's Meanest Gay" contest ["Letters," June 5], I have to say that being the flaming faggot I am, I wholeheartedly disagree. For starters, I don't think you are "encouraging people to be mean with pride," nor do I think you are "implying that being mean is something gay people strive for." I'm a longstanding believer that you only empower a word or a concept by getting your panties in a bunch over it--and frankly, Gabby needs a little detangling solution (no offense).
There are far worse things happening to our community. Go after the OCA, or the United States Navy (and a firm hello to all you hot navy boys out there who just washed up for the Rose Festival), not the Portland Mercury for Christ's sake. Go shopping. Buy a bagel. Get your hair done. Jesus.
GAYS ARE ILL-TEMPERED, AND HERE'S WHY
TO THE MERCURY: What's up with all these pompous, fault-finding bitches denouncing the contest for "Portland's Meanest Gay"? Like that one dude, for instance, who said he's never submitting artwork again ["Letters," Jeff Cook, May 29]. If he thinks referring to homosexuals as "gays" and "rewarding" their nastiness is perpetrating stereotypes, what does he think he's doing when he over-exaggerates indignation and attacks something that's meant to be humorous? That kind of melodramatic, narrow-minded behavior makes gays look bad.
Gays have a reputation for being ill-tempered and difficult because they usually grow up in oppressive, lonely environments where they're inundated with taunts and discrimination from heterosexuals on a daily basis. Something about spending your childhood wracked with confusion creates superior verbal skills, which can come in handy when arguing or insulting someone. Unfortunately, a lot of gays don't have a very high stress threshold and, thus, get defensive easily and lash out indiscriminately--most often at other gays, but sometimes at waiters or video store clerks. This is just the way it is.
Gays can be mean, and why shouldn't the Mercury give some poor schmuck $100 for being the meanest? I think he (or she) has obviously earned it after all the shit they've been through to make them that mean. I think this contest is great! I totally would have entered myself except I'm ineligible due to the fact that I'm a famous local film director (sort of like Todd Haynes, except my movies don't flop as badly and I'm significantly better looking). I was never insulted by the Mercury rewarding meanness. What I am insulted by are all the pissy, humorless letters condemning this contest. They make us gays look like we can't take a joke.
Check out the winner of our "Portland's Meanest Gay" contest on page 17!--ed.
OUT WITH THE NEW, IN WITH THE OLD
TO THE EDITOR: The Portland Mercury's logo was by far the BEST logo ever created for any newspaper ever named the Portland Mercury. It was classic, a little retro, a little fun, but just elegant enough to be taken seriously, and express that some intelligent content was, indeed, inside your magazine. In other words, it was much like the Portland Mercury itself, which is exactly what a logo SHOULD be. Most importantly your old logo was versatile and went with every possible layout and cover design you guys could conceive. This new logo looks like it was done by a shitty first year graphic design student, and screams "amateur." This logo is painful and insulting to my eyes! I could design a better logo with my ass! (That's an offer, by the way.)
MOTHERS WHO LOVE THE MERCURY
TO THE EDITOR: My son, Carlson (he's 16) brought home something he ripped out from the Portland Mercury. It was the editorial by Wm. Steven Humphrey, the recent one where he tells everyone to "F" off ["Note from the Editor," June 5].
Apparently, my son found your paper while he was waiting to take the bus back home from school. All I can say is that it was the funniest thing we've read in a long time! And thus, I was introduced to the Mercury by a clipped out editorial he brought home to share with Mommie--kinda like the cat bringing home a dead bird.
Thanks and I'm telling all my friends (all four of 'em) about the Portland Mercury.
AND SINCE CARLA is the first mother NOT to threaten legal action against the Mercury for causing serious moral damage to their children, she will receive our "Letter of the Week" award and two free passes to the Laurelhurst Theater! Congratulations, mama!