MR. [WM STEVEN] HUMPHREY—I loved your piece about the 10 most fascinating people ["Fascinating!" I Love Television, Dec 9]! I shared it with my secretary, who had surgery recently for breast cancer. She was laughing so hard that she begged me to stop... she was afraid she would tear her chemo port loose. I laughed so hard I nearly got sick. You should put warning labels on your articles.

-Jim Morris


If you found a baby abandoned on the sidewalk, would you take it to a hospital or would you try to find proof it was born in the US ["Paperless People," News, Dec 16]? In light of their legal status, do we make every effort to give them the benefits we would give our own children in that situation, or do we make our compassion contingent on other issues? Teenagers that are enthusiastic residents and good students are likely to make at least as good citizens as many that did happen to be born here, and it seems reasonable that we give them a shot to become citizens before others that have less of a claim. Personally, I feel like, in general, immigration adds more to a community than it costs, although I do think a country has a right to control it. However, I believe that that should be done with the greatest possible sense of compassion and mutual benefit.

-Posted by riot nrrrd on portlandmercury.com


DEAR MERCURY—I just want to say congratulations, and thank you, for what was hands-down the best Mercury feature I've read since first picking up your paper ["Advice for Future Sam," Feature, Dec 16]. This was an effective, informative statement on not just the mayor, but the city. Also, great job editing this in a way that gave Adams the chance to defend and explain himself. It almost felt like a conversation. Thank you.

-Brian Benson


Education is out of his hands ["Advice for Future Sam," Feature, Dec 16]. Being a business booster is not an economic strategy, especially when your development strategy is rampantly pro-gentrification, aggravating the economic strife faced by Portland's working and minority communities. My sincere advice to Sam: Redeem yourself. Forget about a second term. Expose the urban renewal shell game for the upward redistribution of wealth it is. What have you got to lose? Promote housing and urban development policy that works with, not against your economic policy, a policy that should not be focused exclusively on a high-tech, professional job sector, but also on blue collar, living wage jobs for Portland's working families who aren't going to suddenly disappear or turn "green collar," but are going to continue to do most of the living and working and paying and dying in this broken-down timber town. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Be a weasel and a pawn for rich bastards who'll never let you into their circles anyway, and that's how you'll be remembered.

-Posted by Steve R. on portlandmercury.com


DEAR MERCURY—To whoever decided pale orange ink was a good idea in that Sam Adams piece... fuck you ["Advice for Future Sam," Feature, Dec 16]. You were wrong! I'm fairly certain you're an asshole. Merry Christmas. The Xanax just kicked in.

-Kelly Tidrick

MERRY CHRISTMAS, KELLY! How were the pills? In case you ran out, we're giving you passes good for eight to see Narnia (bring the fam!), plus lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where the food's at least as good as anything your doctor prescribes.