DEAR MERCURY—Whether you love or hate Portland music and all its indie-hippers, the influence of the seminal rock band King Missile cannot be denied—"P Jacks" is right ["P Music Sucks," Letters, Feb 17]. I don't know how many times I see a band and think, man, those could all be King Missile songs. It's amazing how "Detachable Penis" is still as relevant today as it was in the '90s. Imitation is the first step to origination, I always say.
TO BARRY NEWBIE—Regarding his letter "Ann Romano: What's the Point, P?" [Feb 17]. The Mercury is my favorite weekly, and the One Day at a Time page is one of the reasons why. I don't watch crappy TV, and I don't read the gossip magazines. So at the end of the week when I sit down for a meal and have my coffee, it is such a treat to indulge in the nonsense of these celebrities' lives. I would never know any of this drama if it weren't for this column. So that's the point.
DEAR MERCURY—Hey once again, how about doing a Slut Issue? Portland is looked on as the slut capital of the effin' US for christ's sake. It is about time that this gets addressed... Big-titted, big-assed Gresham bitches is what we want to see, and then some...
DEAR MERCURY—Among the other reasons not noted in the informative article [on the Columbia River Crossing], it seems there are a lot of baseline issues that need to be addressed ["Three New Reasons to Oppose the CRC," News, Feb 17]: Where [are] an extra three to four lanes of traffic from Vancouver going to fit on the undersized Portland portion of the I-5 all the way from the bridge over the Columbia to both the Fremont and Marquam Bridges and beyond? Where is Clark County's go-ahead on an extension of MAX? When will Clark County and SW Washington put a stop to the urban sprawl north and east of Vancouver? If we don't [get] some decent answers to these kind of questions, we would be prudent to rethink the CRC project.
-Bruce L. Bikle, Ph.D.
HELLO—My wife and I were freaking out about this exact box in Alameda, California ["'Enjoy Your Delicious Moments'; Pizza Box Art Crit," Blogtown, Oct 21, 2010]. I was like: "There's got to be someone on the internet who has written an exhaustive critique of this box art." There was. Thanks for writing this.
-Brian & Amy
DEAR AARON MESH MOVIE REVIEWER FOR WILLAMETTE WEEK—Do you actually like movies? Based on your articulation of what you thought of a movie, I am having a real hard time telling if you like movies or not. Thank god you have started that rating system, otherwise I am lost in your Freudian analyzation of why a film does not reach your unhappy, cynical, intellectual mind's nonexistent standards. And this is not a Mercury versus WW thing, because David Walker did awesome reviews. I just can't help but notice that you have set a narrow standard and expectation for films that is making you unable to enjoy one. Do you hate your job?
ANONYMOUS, WE RATE your letter a 37 (out of 100), but just to show there are no hard feelings, we're giving your letter of the week prizes to Aaron Mesh as restitution for your harsh words. Aaron, please enjoy two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, which always scores 100 (out of 100) on the unhappy, cynical, intellectual mind's nonexistent standards scale.