CARS, CLOTHING, KIDS: OPTIONAL

RE: "World Naked Bike Deride" [I, Anonymous, June 21], in which an anonymous author criticizes a coworker's participation in this year's World Naked Bike Ride, along with multiple retellings of an instance in which her breasts were complimented by an observer.

Dear Anonymous—The Naked Bike Ride is not for everyone, but it is not gross. Fat people naked are not gross, they are naked. In my experience people who repeat compliments paid to them by others are sad inside and most often a bore. They don't need further floggings, multiply that times a million for floggings in public. If you want to help further the cause of cycling, smile while you're riding your bike.

-posted by Bob Car-free

Bob—Objectively, no, fat naked people are not gross. Speaking SUBJECTIVELY, I think that the act of ignoring your health until the point that you resemble the Dune villain is sad, and flaunting your naked mistake in public is disgusting. As an eco-conscious person, I think the naked bike ride is a horrific exhibition of everything wrong with this city. I don't care how much gas you save, if you're finding yourself riding your bike naked as an adult, you have failed. You're the reason Portlandia! isn't stuck on cable access.

-posted by Child-free, Auto-driving Ray

FEMALE PRISON PEN PALS RETURNS!

RE: Our steadily growing pile of letters from incarcerated females looking for pen pals. See one you like? Drop 'em a line!

Hi, my name is Adriana. I am a 34-year-old Hispanic female. I am 5'4", 165 pounds with dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a great sense of humor. I love to laugh. Right now I'm doing some time so I need a good pen pal. Please write to: Adriana Guerrero c/o Madison County Jail, 15 N 2nd, East Rexburg, ID, 83440.

EVERYBODY'S GOT ONE

RE: "Apocalypse Now" [Film, June 21], in which author Ned Lannamann reviews Seeking a Friend for the End of the World and opines that Keira Knightley is "super irritating, of course."

DEAR NED LANNAMANN—How can you not like Keira Knightley? She's so dreamy!!! :) Do you also hate rainbows and lolcats? :(

 -Isaac Hudson

GROW UP, VIRGINS

RE: "Lesser Evils" [Letters, June 14], in which readers discuss voting for Obama in the next presidential election.

DEAR MERCURY—Unless you live on a planet where political choice involves choices between absolutes, then voting for "the lesser of two evils" is all you've got. Considering what the greater evil can be, historically, a compromise for the greater good doesn't look that bad. Grow up, virgins.  

-Barbara Mor

HE AIN'T

RE: "Unforgivable Cruising" [Letters, June 21], in which the ills and merits of Tom Cruise are weighed.

Hey, as much as Tom Cruise's work seems to be one-dimensional, the guy has managed to work with some of the best directors of our time. Could it be that perhaps Kubrick, et al., saw something in him that we ain't fully seeing yet? Then again, he ain't Daniel Day-Lewis, right?

-posted by frankieb

IN THE FAMILY

RE: "Jackpot" [Feature, June 21], in which Portland's history of pinball as an illegal activity is recounted, along with the rise and fall of Portland criminal Jim Elkins.

An interesting and well-written story, thanks to the author. I would add however that racketeering in Portland using pinball machines and the like did not end with the fall of Jim Elkins. It continued on for a number of years, as did the bribes paid to ranking members of the Portland Police Bureau and the district attorney's office to look the other way and to ensure that their subordinates did the same. I know about it because of family members who were involved, back in the day...

-posted by Ex-Human

DON'T SEND OUT your muscle to break our kneecaps, Ex-Human, okay? We'll even bribe you with two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where from time to time you can catch films about gangsters from all over the world. In the meantime, let's just fuhgeddaboudit.