Illustration by Suzette Smith


In which we work our way through an interminably large stack of pen pal requests from jailed women. Write one of them a letter today! This lady sounds nice:

Hi, my name is Nichole, I'm 24 years old. I'm 5'3", 125 pounds. I have blonde hair and green eyes. I'm doin' some time, and would like a pen pal, someone who can make me laugh so time will go by [Aww—Eds]. If interested please write to 15 N 2nd East, Rexburg, ID, 83440 Madison County Jail, Nichole Odell.


RE: One Day at a Time [July 12] in which author Ann Romano summarizes the split between actors Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.

Long have I admired your hilarious column, as sharp as your Manolo stilettos. But your [column] this week, in which you put the Cruise-Holmes dissolution into its proper context, is sheer genius. I am not worthy to read you.



RE: "Smoking the Grassroots" [News, July 12], about yet another pot legalization ballot measure.

For all of the faith that people put into the initiative system, I can't think of anything good that it has achieved. Can someone please convince me that I'm wrong?

-posted by Torgo

As an ex-pot user who is now old and square, my impression that this is a VERY BIG issue for active pot users, bordering on a civil rights issue. They are in the midst of it, care a lot about it, and therefore figure that it must be a huge deal to every one else. But it just isn't. Potheads are tedious and unproductive, and legalization in Oregon would attract thousands of them from all over the country. I don't see their desire for easy, cheap pot as a pressing issue. As for the initiatives process, if it were easy to get on the ballot, we'd be voting on a huge list of stupid nonsense every two years. Direct democracy is frankly dangerous because the average person doesn't understand the impact on budgets and agencies of passing everything that sounds good.

-posted by Blabby

Hey dumby, legalizing pot would give the state more funds for things, because you know it would be taxed.

-posted by chicostix

If pot were legal, it wouldn't bring in much tax. Why? Because I would grow what I need in my backyard. Weed is a crop. The state isn't going to get rich off of it any more than we would taxing apples. The most annoying aspect of this whole conversation every two years is the weak-ass rationalizations. You want pot to be legal because you want to smoke pot. Don't dress it up with a bunch of fancy rationalization. Even half the medical marijuana measures aren't really about sick people. They are really about the advocates' recreational pot use. Let's at least have an honest conversation about it.

-posted by Blabby


RE: "Dog Water" [I, Anonymous, July 12], in which an anonymous author rails on the practice of allowing dogs to drink from public water fountains.

DEAR DOG WATER—To help ensure the safety of your child's water, I wanted to include other things that have come in contact with the water fountain:

Run-off rain


Nasty pigeon poop

People with STDs/prostitutes

Other people in general

Other people's kids who eat sand, pocket change, and anything/everything that's on the floor

Urination from drunken people


Old beverages that are being disposed of

For future cleanliness, I would suggest bringing a bottle of water. While you're at it, you probably shouldn't have your child play on the playground, play in the downtown fountains, have friends, eat un-organic food, or ever swim in a public pool. Always watch them sleep. Also, I sincerely doubt you have any pets (unless you count the stick up your ass).

-Concerned For Your Child's Welfare

WELL PLAYED, CFYCW. And for that tart retort, we award you letter of the week, complete with two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where pigeons are not technically allowed, but STDs, weirdly, are.