KITTEN SOUP

DEAR MERCURY: I was outraged by Mr. Matt Davis and his "Liver Let Live" piece [Feature, Sept 21]. "Apart from the obvious (kittens and babies), does anybody have the right to tell me what I can and cannot eat?" Where the fuck does he get off telling me I can't eat kittens and useless-piece-of-crap babies?!? Mr. Davis, keep your laws off MY stomach and MY kittens, or I'll be forced to unzip and force-feed you like one of those foie gras ducks you're so fond of eating.

FED UP

TO THE EDITOR—I hope that few members of the public are persuaded by the specious arguments made in your recent editorial seemingly defending the cruelty of foie gras production ["Liver Let Live," Feature, Sept 21]. In no other industry are animals forcibly fed up until the brink of death in order to satisfy the palates of a few diners. For chefs in Portland and elsewhere to try to mask foie gras cruelty as a "freedom of choice" issue is the height of gustatory narcissism, and is an affront to the humane values that we as a society purport to believe. We invite readers to view the facts about foie gras production for themselves at nofoiegras.org.

FREEDOM TO SMOKE

DEAR MERCURY—Most cigarette smokers would prefer to be able to smoke in public spaces: bars, streets, parks, Pioneer Square, etc. ["Smoke 'Em While You Got 'Em," News, Sept 21]. Anti-smokers have already won their cause in all indoor spaces in Portland except for bars and homes. Not smoking in offices, the DMV, and restaurants is fine by most, but bars are the only public meeting spaces where people are allowed to drink, smoke, be loud, and just let loose without so many restrictions. There are some great bars where you can't smoke, and people who don't want to be around cigarettes can go to them. There is absolutely no need to ban smoking further. Yeah, second-hand smoke isn't good for you, but I don't really give a fuck. People drive everywhere spewing a thick layer of smog over the entire Willamette Valley, many are staggeringly unhealthy from never getting exercise because they drive everywhere, cars injure and kill people, and our attachment to senseless overuse of oil has precipitated a huge range of fucked-up international policy. You try to give someone shit for driving and it's their own business, you smoke a cigarette and everyone thinks it's their concern. If we banned cars, pesticides, certain GMOs, rBGH, and a whole slew of other unhealthy and socially expensive practices and products we would have a society that could justify banning cigarettes in public places by some coherent rationale of state control over the general health concerns of all citizens, otherwise it's just another problem of politicians catering to soccer moms and other people who put health concerns ahead of striving to live well and create a more open society.

100 PERCENT WOODS

DEAR MERCURY—Alison Hallett writes in her review of Reefer Madness [Theater, Sept 21] that actor Nartan Woods wears "a loincloth that I can only assume contains a sock." Well, I saw Mr. Woods in the shower at a local recreational establishment a few weeks ago and I'm here to tell you THAT'S NO SOCK.

CONGRATULATIONS TO EAGLE-EYE EMD for setting Ms. Hallett straight on what the contents of that loincloth are! EMD gets two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and $30 to No Fish! Go Fish!, where socks are never substituted for sausage.

DEPT. OF CORRECTIONS

In Will Gardner's article "Cuddle Me, Please!" [Feature, Sept 21], he mistakenly refers to the events put on by Portland's LoveTribe as "Cuddle Parties," when they are properly known as "Snuggle Parties." In "Splitting the Left," [News, Sept 21] Scott Moore mistakenly states that the ratio of corporate versus union campaign spending is 2-1, and it is in fact 5-1.

PIZZAZZ! ONLY ONE SHORT WEEK AWAY!

Hey readers! Do NOT miss the most insane, entertaining talent show in the universe, PIZZAZZ!—a celebration of all the bestest and craziest acts Portland has to offer. It all goes down on SATURDAY, OCTOBER 7 at 7 pm at the Bagdad Theater (3702 SE Hawthorne), and tickets are only $6! WOW! That's a little money for A LOT OF PIZZAZZ!!