RE: "Trojan War!" [Feature, May 29], in which author Rebecca Jane Moreland tests several popular brands of condoms to determine the best performer in a host of categories.

HI REBECCA—Thanks for your article on the business end of the condom market and for your entertaining, if not rigorously scientific, tests of condom brands. May I give one piece of constructive criticism on your "Stretch and Strength" test? You test a condom's strength solely by stretching it in one direction. However, this only tests the strain of the latex along one direction. A more accurate method to test a condom's overall ability to withstand failure is to stress it in every direction. The best way to do that? Inflate it and see how much volume the condom can withstand before bursting. No, silly! You don't need to blow it up with your mouth: Fill it with water like a water balloon and measure the volume.




RE: "Patricia Needs to Gloat" [Letters, May 29], in which a reader who disapproved of our endorsement of fluoridation tried to tattle on us to Savage Love columnist Dan Savage, and got told.

DEAR MERCURY—Dan Savage is so very right. If I can continue reading his column after his revolting support of the Iraq War, I can certainly continue picking up the Mercury after its snarky fluoride support. 




RE: "Behind Hales' Happy Mask" [News, May 29], regarding Mayor Charlie Hales' political maneuvering in negotiating budget cuts.

When I see budget cuts like this, I am reminded we need more business activity for a larger tax base. Our program size appetite is larger than our budget. There's always an assumption there's money somewhere.

posted by ws



RE: "Remembering Occupy..." [Hall Monitor, May 29], regarding recently released emails discussing Occupy Portland at the federal level.

Camping as a form of protest just doesn't work. To stay put in one spot for so long only stirs up trouble, giving anti-protestors and whoever else fodder against your cause. Besides, who wants to camp out on a cold winter night? A brisk midday winter march, on the other hand, would be what "normal" people do. Sorry for using the "n" word there.

posted by buddy69



RE: "Comfort Oriented" [Last Supper, May 29], reviewing new restaurant Township and Range.

I don't even want to tell anyone because I want this to be my secret happy-hour spot, but their onion rings are perfection—not too thick, not too thin, not too greasy, battered, and you won't end up with a hollow batter shell after one bite.

posted by Melogna

They must have prepared their dishes to be especially tasty and photogenic when you went there, because my experience from about a month prior was the polar opposite of yours. My girlfriend had that same mac 'n' cheese that you decry as inadequate—and to add insult to that injury, hers was bone cold when served, like it had literally been scooped out of a refrigerated container and tossed into a bowl.

posted by Snagglepuss



RE: "Greetings" [Portland as Fuck, May 29], in which columnist Ian Karmel takes a brave and decisive stand against the needless and wasteful greeting card industry.

My grandparents always guilt-tripped me for not sending greeting cards, but every time I walk near the greeting card section my brain shuts down every organ in my body that isn't 100 percent vital to my being. My greatest hope for the future is that we all collectively say "fuck you" to the stupid wastes of paper and instead text like human beings.

posted by Aestro

My life would be easier if the apology section in the greeting card aisle was extended to include, "I'm sorry I don't like Mad Men, but hopefully we can still sleep together" and "My biggest apologies for hating your vegan muffins and absolutely loving dairy."

posted by Holycatsbatman!

HMMM, HOLYCATSBATMAN! that sounds like a business idea. Lucky for you both vegans and dairy lovers are treated with equally princely attention at the Laurelhurst Theater, where we are sending you with a pair of movie tickets for scoring this week's Mercury letter/comment of the week!